


live for moments you can put into words

by westallenkiss



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Alternate Universe - Heaven, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe Malec - Freeform, Background Camille Belcourt, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Good versus Evil, Hurt Alec Lightwood, M/M, MALEC slow burn, Magnus Bane & Dorothea "Dot" Rollins Friendship, Malec, Malec AU, Malec Fluff, Memory Loss, Protective Magnus Bane, Snow Storm, Soulmates Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, alec is a virgin, camille is good, dot is a little crazy oops, dot might be friends with lydia and make things worse, live for moments you can put into words, lydia might make things bad, magnus has 3 daughters, malec Christmas, ragnor is a deputy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:21:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28023882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westallenkiss/pseuds/westallenkiss
Summary: Alec Lightwood is a home decor, organizer extraordinaire who works his ass off for a living especially during the holiday season. He finally has a few days to himself with the help of his best friend and partner who promises to take care of things while he goes on a holiday himself to a secluded cabin in upstate New York.Magnus Bane a registered nurse, and a single father of 3 has always tried to make the best of things during the holiday for his 3 daughters ever since their mother passed away.One day as fate may have it Alec doesn't quite make it to the secluded cabin in upstate New York do to a snowstorm that decides to steer him off the road where Magnus is coming home from a long night at the hospital.Can Alec remember who he is?Is Magnus falling for someone who might have an entire life somewhere and would never want to stay with him?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Simon Lewis/Jace Wayland
Comments: 92
Kudos: 95
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> nothing much to say but let's see where this fanfic will take me. it's my muse during the holidays and i do have a secure plot. fingers crossed i can get it all done for you.
> 
> ps. camille is good in this fic, she has done nothing wrong but passes away leaving magnus with 3 beautiful daughters.

"The best thing about the holidays is creating DIYs, and today I am going to show you how to create a snowglobe in just a few simple steps." Alec talked to the camera, filming himself for his blog. He wasn't entirely too famous outside the New York area, but he had his fair share of followers and subscribers in which is just enough for him to make a living. It was what he loved to do and he loved to see that his work and talent could make others happy. There was just one small problem, he worked a lot of hours in front of the computer screen and went to people's houses during the holidays to set up their houses and make them as beautiful as they needed them to be. He was booked solid for months and he was trying to hide the fact that he was run down and needed a break.

"And that's it for DIY Tuesday's, I'll see everyone, next time, thanks for tuning into my channel, remember to like, comment, and subscribe if you haven't already! Maybe I'll see you in person very soon..." He gave his small signature smile and waved goodbye with a quick close to his laptop. He took a deep breath and leaned back in the chair trying to remember where he was off to next.

"You really think you're going to go to a house today to decorate? You could barely keep your eyes open during that DIY. You need a break and I don't mean a break, I mean an actual holiday yourself. I can take over the business for you and do what you do for a few days..." Jace came right in giving Alec a little startle from him almost falling asleep right then and there. He was right. He needed a well-deserved break. There was no time to even fight it or open his mouth to speak as Jace turned him directly around in his chair and pointed his finger at him, "You are going to take these directions, put them into your GPS and travel to Simon and I's winter cabin and let us take over the business for you until you are back. You can decorate for yourself, make yourself at home, and just enjoy being away from city life, please for me?"

"Okay, I'll do it but not for you for me...I really can't even fight you, I just... I need a break... you're right." Alec spoke up and reached for Jace to help him up, "Thanks, when can I leave?"

"You're in luck, I've already packed your bags, got you some snacks for the road and the directions are here." Jace handed him an old school map of how to get there too, sometimes the GPS doesn't pick up exactly where it is, that's how secluded it is, you'll absolutely love it." Jace insisted and shooed him. "Get a good night's sleep and you can leave first thing in the morning, it's an all-day drive so I need you to be 100% refreshed ready, and willing to enjoy..."

"Thanks again, Jace, I really do owe you. Please tell my subscribers and clients I'm there in spirit."

Jace gave his friend and partner a thumbs up, not entirely sure of what he was doing but he was going to try. At least Alec trusted him.

///

"I'm sorry, I just don't think it's going to work out for us, you're still so special to me though, I promise," Magnus told his long time friend Dorethea that they were still just better off friends for the second time. The two of them kept trying to make it work, but there was just no spark there. His three girls were rooting for him again too, they just really wanted him to find happiness again.

Olivia his oldest daughter was the one waiting up for him after putting her younger twin sisters to bed. Madzie and Madelynn always putting up a fight to want to stay up too but they could hardly ever keep their eyes open. "Tell me, tell me, tell me..." She jumped on her father the second he came into the house.

"Oh, Liv, it isn't good news, her and I...we just don't click." He frowned putting her down and kissing her forehead. "I know you were excited that maybe this time, but it really isn't going to...we always hang out as friend's though, and she'll come over and be that mother figure you need if anything..." He bit his lip, he didn't really want that for his girls either.

"We have Caterina for that when you're working, especially when you take over her shifts at the hospital..." Olivia reminded him of his best friend being a basic nanny for them and it was so good that they enjoyed her company if she could never be their mom.

Magnus gave a slight nod and made a face, "Aren't you tired? What did I tell you about waiting up for me?" He decided to change the subject and try to be mean.

"Oh come on, dad, it's not like it's that late. Besides I was sleeping when Caterina left for work..." Olivia added as if that was supposed to make it okay in which it did because Magnus had to laugh at his daughter's negotiation skills.

"Well, it's time for bed now since I myself am pooped and have a long shift tomorrow morning." He answered her and gave her a push to her bedroom. "I'll see you tomorrow bright and early okay? Pancakes or Waffles?"

"Pancakes!" Olivia shouted and ran off back to bed.

Magnus shook his head with a soft smile and headed to bed himself.

///

Morning came too quick for both Alec and Magnus.

Magnus made his way into work after feeding his girls. He kissed them goodbye promising to not be too late tonight because tonight was their family movie night.

Alec was making his way to his car, looking inside and checking to see if Jace really did pack everything for him, and he actually really did. He loved him for that, he was someone he could always rely on to help him when it was needed. This holiday he was about to take from city life was exactly what he needed. Where no one knew who he was and not a single person could bother him.

However, there was that one person that he was forgetting to tell he wanted to take this trip especially since he promised them a date the other night but bailed on them because he had to go decorate a house. The thing was he kept bailing because he really wanted to break up with him, he didn't even want to be in a relationship if could never find the time for someone.

It was like clockwork with the text message he received. So you're just going to go to a log cabin without me?

Alec sighed answering him back, really quickly, "Yeah, I need this, I have to get away for a bit. Maybe we can be cute on facetime when I arrive...show you what you're missing..." He tried to flirt and be cool about it, he liked him only a little bit, and he wasn't even so sure why he stuck around with how he was never around. Andrew really wanted it to work out but he knew Alec's mind was always elsewhere...

As soon as Alec arrived halfway there, he stopped at a gas station to get some gas and more snacks because what Jace left him was already gone. As he pumped the gas he decided to actually FaceTime Andrew and let him know that he really would be excited to see him when he got back if all he needed was a well-needed break. "I'd really like that, I'll be waiting for you," Andrew promised. "Be safe." And he hung up. Alec shivered it was getting awfully cold and he could see snow starting to fall. He didn't really think much of the snow falling, figuring it was just going to be a light snowfall, he didn't hear anything about a blizzard coming this way, then again he was listening to a playlist he made of all his favorite Christmas songs in the car anyway in between the GPS telling him where to go until he had to use Jace's map.

The snow really started to come down, and Alec was trying his hardest to focus. He was taking deep breathes and going really slow on the road. He could barely see in front of him and he never drove in the snow like this before so he started to panic. He no longer had control of the wheel with his anxiety getting the best of him and suddenly he was swerving all of the road in front of him and couldn't control his vehicle anymore. "No, no, no, please don't let me crash." He said as he ended up doing exactly that, his car heading down a ditch, and he bumped his head pretty hard against the steering wheel.

Alec felt the bump on his forehead and could feel the blood starting to drip down his forehead, "I'm alive, I'm alive, oh god, I need help." He talked to himself and got out of the car and crawled directly up the hill he had gone down. It happened too quickly, he did it on instinct. He had no idea where he was or he was for that matter just that he needed to get help because he was bleeding.

He started to walk in the freezing cold, feeling the blood actually start to stick to his temple. He didn't know he was in the middle of the road until tires started screeching to stop and luckily they did as Alec looked straight at the car in front of him like an actual deer in headlights.

Magnus jumped out of his car and his nursing instincts came right out, "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He took Alec's hands in his. "Did your car crash?"

"I...I don't know..." Alec looked to Magnus, his eye still wide as he reached to touch his forehead where he knew he was bleeding.

"You might need some stitches for that," Magnus touched it softly as Alec winced.

"I'm cold." He then answered with a slight pout, it was all he could mumble.

Magnus laughed, "I've got some warm blankets too." He added with a promise and took the young man home with him. Magnus knew the road they were on and very much knew how to drive on slippery roads so he had no problem getting him home safely with him.

It was only 8:05 when he arrived home, which was 5 minutes later than he promised but his girls were waiting for him ready to watch their Christmas movie. Magnus had to carry Alec inside, cradling him, as he was literally latching on to him for heat.

"Who is this?" Caterina raised an eyebrow at her best friend, "Are you picking up strangers now?" She had to joke always, it was kept Magnus smiling.

"This young fella was actually in the middle of the road, he's lucky I stopped. It looks like he has a concussion. He didn't respond very well to the questions I asked him." Magnus answered as he was laying Alec down on his warm couch.

"What's a concussion? Can he watch the movie with us?" Madzie asked her dad curiously.

"Yeah, dad, can he?" Madelynn was just as excited.

"A concussion is when you hurt your head very badly and may not remember some things later on...you can put on the movie for us, girls, okay? Just let Caterina and I make sure this young man will be okay..."

Caterina grabbed the stitching kit she always had on hand and came back to immediately start cleaning up his wound on his forehead. It was pretty big, he must have really hit his head hard on the steering wheel. Magnus helped by holding Alec's hand because he could see the fear in his eyes, and he was not entirely sure he could do it on his own if he was trembling the way he was.

"Is he going to be okay?" Olivia asked curiously.

"I think so," Magnus smiled softly, "You doing okay there, love?" He asked curiously poking Alec softly on the side.

Alec squirmed reaching to try and grab Magnus' hand. "Yeah...where am I?" He rubbed his temple.

"Don't move, just one more stitch...Magnus stop making him squirm!" Caterina yelled.

Alec groaned.

"Oh, I know her yelling is so annoying," Magnus joked and Alec actually sprouted a smile. "...wow, what a beautiful smile we have, but I mean, you are at my lovely home, these are my 3 girls and this is my best friend and colleague, Caterina."

"That's good, I think I need to sleep now." Alec really didn't have any idea where he was, he honestly just thought he was dreaming, he couldn't even remember crashing and instinctively he knew he if fell asleep he would wake up back in his bed and probably never even go on this trip, but the worst part about it was that he didn't even remember where he was supposed to be going.

"Let's let him sleep, I think he'll be okay. The concussion seems minor, his body is very responsive, but it needs to shut down until he's ready to remember. Hopefully in the morning, we can get some information on him," Caterina told the girls and Magnus. "When my shift is over, I will come by, I'll let them know you are definitely not coming in tomorrow...the storm is pretty bad, we might be snowed in."

Magnus nodded and lifted Alec up to place him in the guestroom to allow him to sleep and to be honest he was extremely worried about him as if he knew him or something. He was too good looking and handsome to be alone like that and not remember who he was.

With his 3 daughters, they watched their movie, cuddled up on the couch until they were all fast asleep. One by one he brought them into bed, kissed them all goodnight and told them to be quiet when they woke up just in case Alec wasn't up yet...they didn't exactly listen because as soon as it was morning the twins were bouncing on his bed to get him to wake up as curious as ever to meet the other man.

"Well umm hello..." Was all Alec could muster, reaching touch his head where the bandaid was. "Am I still dreaming?"

"No, I don't think so...cuz what if we are dreaming!" Madelynn shouted.

"Please don't yell, my head still hurts." Alec whimpered. "Where am I? Who are you, girls?"

"I'm Madelynn, this is my sister, Madzie. Our father found you outside in the cold, he brought you here and took care of your head. What's your name?"

"I...I...I don't know..." Alec looked around the room and went to reach for his wallet or something when he realized he wasn't in his clothes, or clothes that he would wear. He was not even sure how he knew that but he would never wear something like this to bed. "Whose pajamas am I wearing?" Alec sat up a bit trying to shoo the two girls off of him.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry. Madz, Made, what did I tell you? Leave the young man's room now." Magnus said as softly as he could. "I'm so very sorry for that, they're just very curious little girls,"

Alec laughed a little, "That's alright, they're really cute actually, I just wish I could have told them my name...I don't even know my name..." Alec scrunched his nose and his forehead ended up hurting, "Ow...how did I end up with this?"

"You really don't know your own name?" Magnus asked curiously. "You have a concussion, we think you hit your head on the steering wheel of your car, we don't know where your car is, but it definitely happened from a car accident," Magnus explained. "We are going to do everything we can to find out who you are, in the meantime you're very much welcome to stay here with us." Magnus continued to speak softly for him knowing his head must have still hurt. And this was a lot to take in considering he didn't remember anything. "Can you tell me anything you remember?"

Alec shook his head, "It's weird, the only thing I remember is you holding my hand and someone giving me stitches, I feel like I'm supposed to be somewhere too...I just I don't know where..." He frowned at himself and folded his arms across his chest.

Magnus laughed a little too, "Come to the kitchen with me, I'm going to check all your vitals. I'm a registered nurse so really you've stumbled to the right place." Magnus guided Alec to the kitchen and had him take a seat, he made him follow his finger, checked his pupils, and even listened to his heartbeat, "Everything checks out normal, I don't think you'll be lost forever, in the meantime, really just enjoy your time here, I make a really good breakfast..."

Alec shrugged just slightly, "I'm not intruding? I mean? I don't even know my own name..." He swallowed rubbing his temples again, "Ow."

"You'll need to stop touching your head," Magnus took Alec's hands again, "It's completely fine, right girls?"

"Right!" They all said in unison.

"And I swear, my dad makes the best pancakes in all of the land," Olivia promised with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Pancakes? I like pancakes." Alec said, knowing he did, he must have, everyone did, but Alec really felt like he did.

"Oh so you can remember you like pancakes but you can't remember your name?" Magnus teased.

"I just feel like I can even make my own pancakes..." Alec thought out loud. "Can we make them together?" Alec had this feeling as if he knew how to cook, but still his name couldn't come to him. He trusted Magnus already though knowing that things would eventually come back to him.

"Can we at least give him a name?" Olivia suggested.

"Oh, I like that idea, what do you think?" Magnus poked his side, Alec squirmed just like he did last night as he eyed the other man before him. He took his finger and held it too, almost as if to tell him he honestly liked it, like really liked it.

"I would love for you guys to give me a temporary name..." Alec laughed a little.

"Bob!" Madzie shouted.

"Bill!" Madelynn shouted

"No, no, something fancy like umm Felix..." Alec suggested with a laugh.

"You do not look like a Felix." Olivia shook her head, "How about Alexander?" She raised a brow.

"Oh wow, you definitely look like an Alexander, I like that." Magnus agreed with his daughter.

"Alexander." Alec repeated and ended up just shrugging, "I don't know, it's like...too long? But I like it...I like the way you said it..." Alec admitted.

"Alexander." Magnus said softly for him with a cheesy little grin, "You look like an Alexander, I'm sorry but we're going to have to call you that," Magnus then insisted and gave his side a poke.

"Only if you stop poking me." Alec tried to escape it but it was too late, "Hey, come on, I thought we were going to make those pancakes..."

"Yes, pancakes! Let's do it, show me all you know, let's see if you can make perfect circles." Magnus eyed him with a very serious look.

"Oh it's on, I make perfect circles." Alec laughed right back giving him the same kind of evil eye but filled with giggles.

Alec couldn't remember what he was supposed to do or where he was supposed to be or his own name, but something about being here felt right like it was supposed to happen like this. He didn't want to remember anything just yet...he just wanted to make pancakes for this beautiful family...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the feedback is incredible, thanks you guys. i really hope you continue to enjoy this journey with me.

"Oh my, that's one pathetic pancake!" Alec acknowledged Magnus' horrible circle. 

"Excuse moi, but I don't think you can make an actual perfect circle," Magnus shouted bumping his hip with Alec's to try and distract him but he really didn't think it was possible to begin with. 

"Oh really? Watch this." Alec slowly started to pour the batter, he made a circular motion until it was completely a circle then he waited exactly 30 seconds before flipping it over to show off that it was in fact a perfect circle. "It's all in the wrist." Alec turned to look at Magnus in complete awe of the perfect pancake and how this boy even did it. 

"That's...that's...it's...incredible." Magnus shook his head, "How do you remember how to do that, but you can't remember your name or anything else..."

Alec shrugged, "It just came naturally to me, maybe I'm a chef or something." 

"It doesn't matter, you're wonderful," Magnus told him as Alec was looking around his kitchen for something. "Can I help you?" He laughed raising an eyebrow.

"I want to make Christmas tree pancakes too to get in the spirit but I don't see any green food dye lying around." Alec just said as if had taken over the kitchen for breakfast. "Turn over the pancakes for me will you? We don't want them to burn..." He added. 

"Umm, sorry, I don't think we have green food coloring." Magnus frowned doing as he was instructed.

"Yes, we do daddy, it's in the cabinet up on the top shelf, I remember we had for my school project when I made green slime that we were supposed to be able to eat too," Madelynn remembered.

"Ooh green slime that sounds yummy," Alec lifted up Madelynn for her to help him reach it in the cabinet. "You girls can also help me make the pancake Christmas trees, all we have to do is make zig-zags across the pan, think you can do it?" Alec asked allowing all the girls to try and even Magnus. All of them had an excellent kind of pattern, even Magnus. They all had jokes too, making fun of their father's pancakes cuz it was better than his circles. 

"You are all so mean to me," Magnus joked back with a pout. 

"I guess from now on, it's just me and the girls cooking _you_ pancakes," Alec winked and set the girls back down at the counter. "Does anyone had vanilla or cinnamon to their pancakes?" He then asked curiously.

"I never served them anything that fancy before," Magnus really felt like Alec was a gift or something because the girls definitely needed something like this to brighten up things around here but just how long could he have him for? And what if they really got attached to him just when he had to leave and go back to his real-life which was definitely something extraordinary. 

"We'll skip the fancy then, these pancakes are just perfect with syrup! Who is ready?" Alec started to instantly serve them on Magnus' plates. He offered to go and set the table properly too, but Magnus insisted back that they never did that anymore not since their mother passed away. Alec stepped back with a soft nod, he didn't want to do anything to intrude on that part of their life. He barely knew anything about his own at the moment either other than he had some kind of special talent.

With everyone sitting around the kitchen counter, Alec leaned over to watch everyone enjoy his pancakes. "So tell me, how old are your girls, Magnus?" He asked curiously.

"Why don't you let them tell you," Magnus looked to them with a nod, he knew how much the twins loved to mention their age. 

"We're 5, we turn 6 on New Years Day," They said in unison, "Daddy says that makes us extra special," Madzie added with a huge grin and stuffed her face with more pancakes.

"I like being special," Madelynn added.

"You both are very special. You like my pancakes too, that makes you even more special now." Alec answered them softly. He just couldn't get enough of their adorableness. "What about you Olivia? I know you're special too, you're also awfully quiet." 

"I just turned 10 December 1st, I'm not as special as the twins," Olivia shrugged. "I guess, I just haven't seen my father this happy with someone since my mom died, but we barely know you...you don't even know yourself. And I don't know, it's very weird because you fit right in..." Olivia was pretty smart for her age, she loved school, and she knew it was also time for her dad to move on find someone, and she literally felt it in her bones like Alec was the one.

"It is weird, you're right. I'm sorry if I am a bother, I'm kind of just trying to forget that I don't know who I am yet, but I am remembering little things now like how my mom used to always eat the soup that I made for her with my sister...I have a sister...I know I do...yeah, we used to make soup for my mom and she swore to us that it was good until one day when I got older I made it how I used to it and it was the most horrible thing I ever tasted...it was then that I knew I wanted to cook for real and things...but not just cook like decorate for people and make them happy and at home...that's what I do...I think..." Alec was all over the place, he felt like hiding now, like he was boring them or something. 

The twins not really understanding it, but Olivia and Magnus were definitely the ones very interested in him speaking and telling them the memory he had. "I grew a little distant from my family for a while, I can't remember much else about them, I don't know if I did it on purpose or we just had a falling out but I can't recall anything else." Alec suddenly felt hopeless about finding out who he was and where he came from. "I'm sorry, I must sound like a really weird and dumb person, maybe I should just get going..." Alec was turning around quickly and looking for his coat, but he didn't even know if he had one. He also was just in a pair of Magnus' pyjamas that it would be impossible to go out there.

"It's okay, Alexander, just stay with us..." Magnus promised as he said his real name but he didn't at all know that yet but god did it sound incredible coming out of his mouth. 

"That's not my name, but the way you say it, I just..." Alec eye-rolled at himself stopping himself from saying anything else. "But I really should see if someone is looking for me right" Alec walked to the door but couldn't see anything in front of him. "Oh my it's really snowing now, I'll never be able to be found." 

"I promise you, someone will be looking for you, you are too incredible to not be missed," Magnus said and instantly made a face at himself. "Oh god did I really just say that?" 

"Oh, you so did, but it was lovely, thank you. I barely know about myself yet somehow I'm amazing to a stranger...I'll take it." Alec smiled softly. 

"Hey Liv, why don't you take the girls outside to play in the snow for a little," Magnus suggested wanted to be alone with the stranger in his house. He just needed to know more if he could get anything out of him to make him remember. 

"Yay!!" The twins shouted already excited, "Next time can Alexander come and play with us?" Madzie added curiously, "Yeah, he's gotta learn how to make snow angels with us!" Madelynn added with a super cheesy grin. 

"I promise!" Alec crossed his heart and watched them run off happily. Olivia smirked at the two of them giving a soft nod and was on her way too. "She's on to us." Alec raised a brow at Magnus. "Is there a reason you wanted me alone?" 

Magnus laughed, "I think she's looking out for me but she trusts you. She also trusts one of my long time best friend's, she keeps trying to set us up on dates, but I always end up coming home early..." Magnus told the stranger in his kitchen his only secret. 

"That's funny, you just come home early, usually it's the girl coming home early am I right?" Alec's brow raised again. 

"Yeah, she's that boring." He tried not to laugh but Alec already was which caused them both to slip into a fit of giggles. "Wow, it's been so long since I laughed like this." Magnus held his stomach and looked up to Alec slightly. "Tell me something about you," He demanded almost as if it would work. 

"I like making things, I want to decorate this entire house." Alec just couldn't seem to think about anything else. 

"We haven't done anything like that since Camille died." Magnus frowned thinking about her, he tried to and sometimes it worked with all of the distractions around him but when he looked at his daughters he saw her and he hated the holidays because that was where their memories were filled with her. 

"Tell me about her, what was she like?" Alec was genuinely curious. 

"She was an incredible mother, she had a special glow about her during the holidays. She is what made it so special. She could cook, she would cook the best holiday dinner, her favorite thing to make was Lasanga and we only had it once a year at the end of the year on Christmas..." Magnus trailed off a little thinking about how lame that was. 

"You had to wait a whole year just to eat Lasagna...I..." Alec shook his head. 

"I know, it's crazy but the girls loved it. They loved her so much. She was just a very special human, I loved her dearly." Magnus answered trying not to choke up. 

"Am I intruding asking how old the girls were when she passed?" The stranger asked curiously hoping it wasn't too much. 

"It was two days before Olivia's birthday two years ago," Magnus answered. "It pains me that my daughter lost her mom two days before she was turning 9 and the twins they have only a few memories of her when I ask them..." 

"What happened?" Alec asked curiously again, but this time his hand was reaching out to touch Magnus, he genuinely wanted to know. 

Magnus looked down at the way Alec took his hand, it was hard for him to talk about his wife's passing, but it also felt good to bring it up sometimes at least knowing she wasn't suffering anymore. "I guess at the time, I knew it was her way of letting us know it was her time, she had stage four breast cancer, and at the time it was discovered it was too late, she wanted to stay at home with us until she wasn't suffering anymore. The doctor said a few days tops, but she made it for a 3 whole months." Magnus spoke softly as he explained. "That night two days before Olivia's birthday, she actually got up from the bed and tucked Olivia in and wished her a happy birthday, I overheard Olivia say, _but mom, it's not for another two days_ and Camille answered, _I know honey, I just won't be here in two days..._ and she walked out of the room to come back to bad and she told me felt no pain at all, but her heart was hurting and something just told me that she wasn't going to wake up...I was right." Magnus finished as he swallowed. "I at least know she isn't suffering anymore and our girls understand that too." He nodded softly taking a breath and wanted to move his hand to wipe the single tear that was falling but instead he was feeling Alec do it. 

"That's so sad but very sweet how you told it, she sounds like a wonderful mom and would do anything for her family. She survived as long as she could for you guys." Alec pouted a little, continuing to gently wipe the tears that were threatening to fall down on Magnus' face before they even could. 

"You're correct, it's been hard, we aren't even sure how to celebrate Christmas anymore without her," Magnus shrugged a little. 

"Don't worry, Christmas is still in your heart, you have to remember all the good things about her and all the amazing things she did and celebrate like she's still here." Alec reminded him with a little poke to his chest. "I think the girls would love to still decorate too and make it a Christmas you won't forget." He added as he was looking around this huge house with no decorations or tree or anything to celebrate Christmas and they only had about two weeks left. And something inside of Alec made him want to decorate for him and he couldn't really understand why but it wasn't going to stop him. He felt like it was his destiny to do so and why he was here, and maybe this one amazing dream that he didn't dare want to wake up from. 

"You keep hinting at me like you want to decorate my house for me." Magnus laughed a little eyeing him suspiciously. 

"I feel like I'm supposed to. Is that weird?" He made a face. 

"Very. You don't even know your first name yet...or who would even miss you...yet you're this amazing cook, well so far it was just pancakes, but the talent you have like you're some sort interior designer or something...I...don't know..." Magnus shook his head and started to get up from the counter they were both still leaning on. 

Alec got the hint that he must have pissed Magnus off somehow by intruding maybe. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to overstep, it's just that you insisted I stay and yeah, maybe I'll just go..." 

Magnus couldn't say anything that moment and it wasn't that he was upset with him and definitely didn't overstep, this stranger in his house was the most wonderful man he'd ever met yet he barely knew him and that's what made him so mysterious and so intriguing and it scared him so much that something could happen...not even knowing what that something was. "Stay, I want you to stay. I'm sorry I'm a little messed up. But really, my friend Ragnor, he should be here any minute if the snowstorm lets him. He usually comes on Sunday's for dinner just because..." Magnus trailed off a little as his heart caught in his chest at the way they ended up standing together. "Ragnor is a Deputy up here, the only one I know that works day and night to make sure this town is safe. We're a small town, not many people, but they do have a really nice town to shop in, all decorated for Christmas and things, you would like it. We could put up flyers and things with his permission," Magnus smiled softly as he looked up at him. "You'll be found in no time..." 

Alec went to say something, his body trembling a bit at the way the other man was looking at him like that, he hoped to god it wasn't noticeable. "I would love that," He just answered of saying, what he was thinking instead, " _Right now, I don't want to be found._ He thought it again as he was looking directly into his eyes as if he was searching for something. Magnus swallowed doing the same because he too was searching for something that he was sure he was never going to find and if and when he did this would all be over like some kind of dream he was having too. 

"Helllooooo, anyone here!" Ragnor announced coming in without giving a knock like normal, "Ahhh there we are," He opened dusted himself off and opened his arms for Magnus to run into. Magnus snapped back to reality and did exactly that running into his one of his best friend's arms and holding him close, "I saw the girls outside making snow angels, I joined them for one, then they told me you brought home a stranger..." Ragnor said as he hugged his friend back looking over at the stranger standing there a bit nervous and he had no idea why. 

"Oh god where are my manors, I was just telling him about you too, this is...well...he doesn't remember his name but we are calling him Alexander," Magnus urged him to come closer. "Alexander, this is Ragnor Fell, he will help you." 

"Hi, it's nice to meet you, Magnus told me you take care of this town," Alec stepped forward and reached to shake his hand. Ragnor pulled him close to give him a hug too. It was very comforting. Alec didn't at all mind it either. "I like hugs." He admitted. 

"It's crazy how the mind works, you remember things, lots of things, but you can't remember your name or where you're from, that's when it chooses to forget. You're trying to forget something from your past, but we are going to have to figure it out in order to get your identity. If Magnus did tell you, it's just me running this small little town, taking care of my children, and always checking up on my dear friend Magnus and that I will do anything for him to help him, then I will definitely help you out." Ragnor promised instantly and took them to the couch so they could talk more about everything Alec could remember up until when Magnus found him. Alec didn't have many answers, he didn't even remember how he found the strength to get up the hill and start looking for help. 

"We will have to do a search where Magnus exactly found you, maybe he can shed some light on that," 

"It was about 2 miles away from here, I was taking the back roads home just in case the highway was extra slippery. I was coming home from the Hospital. He was in the middle of the road. His car must be in a ditch somewhere which is definitely a little crazy if that's true...but he also had a minor concussion, good thing Caterina was here to stitch him up because my hand wasn't steady and he was holding it for me..." Magnus didn't have to add that last part but he did as he looked to Alec wondering if he remembered that because as strange as it was there were sparks as they held hands, and Alec trusted him enough to grip his hand like that. 

Alec swallowed giving Magnus a soft nod. He reached his hand to his forehead to feel for the stitches that were still there actually forgetting about them already. His hair covered it slightly too so he hoped there wouldn't be a scar there. He then shook his head at himself as that wasn't something to think about now. "Yeah, I woke up to two girls bouncing on my bed asking me all sorts of questions." Alec laughed a little. 

"Oh Madz and Made, they're very curious little ones, " Ragnor smiled. "Well, if you don't mind we put out some a picture of you in town to see if anyone knows who you are, we all also when the storm subsides to see if anyone else is looking for you outside our small town, don't worry young man, you'll know who you are very soon...in the meantime, I do encourage enjoying this time with my dear friend here, he deserves a guy just like you," Already Ragnor too knew there was something extra special about Alec. 

"So what's for, um, dinner?" Alec changed the subject trying not to feel too embarrassed at the moment. 

"Well, it's Sunday so I usually cook, well cook the best that I can a simple roast that I get from the farmer's market downtown, with some mashed potatoes and we always have some fresh broccoli, it's the girl's favorite." Magnus gave the 411. 

"Would you mind if I cooked for you? All of that sounds fantastic." Alec asked curiously and anxiously to get started. 

"Please, let's see how good you do, I know it'll definitely be better than mine." Magnus joked but was also serious. 

"Oh it's definitely going to be better than yours," Ragnor smirked. 

"Hey!" Magnus threw a pillow at him. 

Alec laughed shaking his head at the two of them and turned around to head straight into the kitchen to get started. He had no idea what he was doing but at the same time, he was almost instantly preparing everything as he if he knew exactly what he was doing and doing it all his life. 

/// 

It was officially 3 pm on a Sunday, and Alec was definitely supposed to be at Jace and Simon's cabin by now. 

"I know you must be enjoying yourself, but Alec, you were supposed to call us when you got there, that's okay though, I never told you to give me a call, I figured you wouldn't. You must be in that jacuzzi all by yourself right now wishing you never have to come home. You do you, Alec. Enjoy yourself." Jace spoke to his voicemail and hung up. He wasn't worried about Alec, he didn't think he had to. 

Within 5 minutes of calling him, Andrew was barging into Alec's office where Jace was casually sitting with his feet up pretending to be working like Alec while Simon did everything. It was also very typical of Jace and Alec honestly knew something like that would happen. 

"Umm, ever hear of knocking?" Jace raised a brow. 

"Aren't you worried about Alec? I thought maybe he would be here...he didn't call or text me that he arrived...he promised me that he would. I thought he was standing me up again." Andrew scratched his head and sighed folding his arms across his chest. 

"Na, he probably just forgot, he's definitely enjoying himself. He likes to be alone, don't take any offence to that, he told me how much he liked you, maybe he's just clearing his head," Jace calmed Andrew down and shooed him out. 

"I hope you're right." Andrew walked off something wasn't right, but Jace knew Alec better than anyone so he just let it go and hoped for a call. 

/// 

It was almost time for dinner at the Bane household, Alec cooked them an entire meal from scratch using one of the recipes Camille left behind. Magnus had bought some things to cook but he could never do it the way Alec presented it. The table even set up fancy with proper placement of forks and knives. 

"Alexander, this is...it's...I mean wow." Magnus shook his head in awe. 

"It's my pleasure." Alec bowed. 

"I'm starving!" Madeylnn said excitedly sitting down. 

"Me too!" Madzie added tugging Alec to sit down next to the both of them in middle. 

Alec laughed giving them both a nod to do as they pleased. 

"Oh he's a charmer too, I see." Ragnor winked digging right into the mashed potatoes before anyone else could. 

Before Magnus could sit the doorbell rang, figuring it was Caterina he yelled that it was open but in walked Dot frantic, "Oh," Magnus swallowed wondering what brought her here so frantically. 

"Caterina told me you had someone here with you and he was gone missing, I just had to see for myself..." Was her reasoning and Magnus had to laugh out loud, very loud and shake his head. 

"Alexander, this is Dot, the one I told you about..." He made a slight face as he spoke. 

"You talked about me?" Dot blushed. "Oh wow, I know you!" She looked at Alec as he stood up to shake her hand like a gentleman. 

"You do?" He asked curiously almost excited even if he didn't know her. 

"I've just...I've seen you before...somewhere..." Dot couldn't place it but this handsome stranger in front of her was definitely someone she saw before. 

"Oh. Well, I don't know you...or maybe I do? I'm sorry...I don't really know much about me yet other than I can cook...and um decorate or I think I can...I haven't yet." Alec blushed looking at Magnus instead of someone who clearly didn't belong here at the moment from the looks of Magnus' face. 

"Yeah, so, you can go now Dot, everything's fine here, you don't have to worry about us." Magnus urged her to leave. "Remind me to tell Caterina to be quiet." He said behind gritted teeth. 

Ragnor choked a little on his mashed potatoes as the girls started laughing and Alec just ended up sitting back down. "I have a feeling she's a little coo-coo..." Alec whispered across the table to Olivia who burst out laughing. 

"I always thought she was perfect for my dad," She rolled her eyes at herself. 

Alec shrugged with a slight smirk as he looked to watch Magnus try to get Dot to leave. She seemed kind of desperate, and it was weird but wait how did she know Alec? It began to bother Alec a little as the family before he was enjoying their meal. He hoped she could give him some answers even if she seemed a little weird... but he wanted to know how she did because it meant something to help find out who he was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you're not too upset with me for this lil suspenseful ending...
> 
> remember to @ me on twitter @westallenkiss with your favorite parts. #LTMfic


	3. Chapter 3

After their dinner filled with laughter and sharing all the wondrous memories, they had of their mother, Alec felt so close to everyone. It was so sad to him that Magnus hadn't fully moved on yet from her passing either. There was something on those eyes of his though every time he looked at Alec and wow did Alec feel that every time it happened. It almost felt like it was meant to happen this way or something. 

"Thanks for helping me put the girls to sleep," Magnus whispered as Alec was washing the dishes from dinner right after they set the girls down for the night. "I still can't believe you insisted to wash my dishes too, I mean I usually do them in the morning as I'm completely lazy at night after getting the twins situated and everything...or I just get Olivia to do it for me and I'll give her an allowance."

"They are truly such amazing young girls, particularly Olivia, she was telling me with the allowance you have given her, she actually saved up to buy a Christmas gift for you," Alec smirked a little turning his head to look at him as he set the clean plate on the towel to dry. He started another dish and shook his head a little, "It's the least I can do for you considering you are allowing me to stay here with you..."

Magnus took the dish Alec set on the towel and started to dry it further, "She trusts you already." He added with a soft happy sigh, "I know you don't even trust yourself at the moment or the fact that you think it's a bother that you're staying here, it's really not. My house is always open, well not like that, but being it's a small town and I work at a hospital, I always allow my co-workers and friends just come over at any time..." Magnus explained as he was reaching to take the clean plate from Alec again so he could dry it. 

"I really like that about you, I never met someone as kind as you. If I did though I think I would definitely remember that." Alec touched his head a little out of nervous habit and felt the stitches again. He tried so hard to remember, but he felt like he was trying not to remember either. Like Ragnor had said to him the mind chooses to forget the things it wants to. "Do you feel like this was kind of meant to happen? You know like you finding me the way you did?" Alec made a face at himself hating that he asked what he was thinking.

"Kinda yeah," Magnus swallowed. "I just can't believe a guy like you hasn't been _found_." 

Alec blushed, shaking his head, "You keep saying that and I have no idea what I did to make you feel that way," 

"I feel it." Magnus whispered taking the last plate that Alec finished washing and just set on the towel and took his hands in his, "Tomorrow, I'd like to take you downtown to the local shops, it's right in the mountains with beautiful scenery and despite the cold people go all the time to just do some browsing and shopping. They have their own little tents with little heaters so it's not like they're super cold or anything either, but we will definitely have to bundle up. I think I have some stuff lying around for you to wear...that is if you don't mind. I'm pretty sure you can fit into my clothes...after all, you did fit into my pajamas and this lovely attire that I didn't even realize was mine until now." Magnus felt like he was talking for days and started to blush himself as he was just admiring Alec's features as he was speaking to him. 

"Olivia picked this out for me, she didn't say it was yours although I should have figured," Alec answered. His hand came up from in between them and touched Magnus' face because he couldn't see that he was blushing but he wanted to feel it for himself. The warmth was so inviting and he felt _home_. "It sounds like a lovely idea to go out, I know how fast upstate New York cleans their streets and things, whereas back home it just takes days...but hopefully someone will recognize me too." There was a soft sigh as Magnus tilted his head to Alec's palm as if to hint, _what if I don't want you to be found._ And he gave him a look with his eyes as he pouted a little.

There was a spark at that moment that they stood there in Magnus' kitchen but Alec couldn't think about the right thing to do when he knew he had a life he was choosing to forget. Magnus slumped a little and stood on his tiptoes directly after to press a kiss to Alec's forehead. "Goodnight, Alexander." He let go of him completely and Alec realized he messed up without even saying a word. He found his way into the guestroom and tried to think again, think about the last thing he remembers...

///

It was officially the next day and Jace was trying to get a hold of Alec again, "Man, you really must be enjoying yourself. Did you find yourself a handsome dude? Underpants is still harping on that date you know? You shouldn't have promised him anything, but I see you trying to forget about it..." Jace laughed into Alec's voicemail. "Listen give me a call soon as you decide you want to." He hung up and this time he had Alec's angry sister in his office. 

"Don't you think the logical thing to do is go and look for him? What if he was in an accident or something?" Izzy folded her arms across his chest after she whacked Jace's feet from the desk as he was literally making it was own leaning back in the chair and feet up like he owned the place. "This is not your desk to mess up or put your feet on. Have you gotten any work done as Alec asked you to?" 

"I know Alec - if something was or is wrong he'd call, he's having the time of his life up there, I know he's needed this break for quite a while!" Jace swore he knew him. 

"That's the thing even if he was having the time of his life, he would still call us to tell us that he was. You don't know him like you seem to do. You might have his back and he might trust you but I sure as hell don't." Izzy yelled at him even more. "I came here to ask you if he answered your voicemail but I see that he hasn't. Mom and I actually wanted to have Alec over for Christmas dinner when he came back, he's been slightly distant and dedicated to his work to want to but how in the world did you even get him to escape from it?" Maybe she didn't know her brother all that much since they hadn't talked in a while but when they did talk it was always so nice and she loved to hear his stories about how he made someone's Christmas so extraordinary because of his talent.

"Maybe we should start looking for him then..." Jace shrugged. 

"Yeah, I'll get on that." Izzy rolled her eyes and left the office. "You better start telling people you aren't going to make their holiday wishes come true." She shouted as she left the room entirely.

Jace did have it under control though, his boyfriend was doing all the work. Simon didn't mind either, he kept asking Alec for a job in order to help...

///

The morning started off amazing for Magnus and his daughters. Alec got up early and prepared them Waffles this time. They ate up, and Caterina came home from her shift at the hospital telling Magnus he should definitely go and explore how pretty downtown looks before he has to go in for a shift. She promised to watch the girls for him even if they really wanted to come but Magnus promised them that they could next time and that he just wanted to show Alec around. 

"You really are a good driver." Alec noticed how well he had control of the steering. "I just can't see myself driving up hills and considering it's kind of icy...I..." He shook his head almost scared as if he was remembering driving it and crashing.

"It takes a lot of practice I guess...everything okay? I'm not even driving fast..." Magnus parked the car on the snow-covered grass. 

"I know I ended up crashing, I remember it was so dark out, I don't remember where I was going 'though." Alec swallowed. 

"It's okay, we're going to find your car, I gave Ragnor proper instructions. Don't think about that now, come enjoy the beautiful town with me." Magnus insisted taking Alec's hand in his and laced it too. Alec swallowed but he held on tightly. They had gloves on but Alec still felt like he was meant to hold his hand. 

The first thing they both saw together was a lady selling scarves. "This is mine," Alec said with a memory hitting him. "Or I have one just like it, rather." He blushed picking it up to look at the beautiful red buffalo checkered scarf. It was soft to the touch and looked exactly like the one his mother had gotten him for Christmas one year when he was little and he'd kept it all these years. He wasn't wearing it now but it was obvious he packed it and it was in his car in the ditch somewhere. He couldn't part with the scarf or move from the table. 

"Would you like to buy it, young man? Just 20 dollars." The older woman asked him bringing him back to reality.

"No, I mean, I have one just like it." Alec set it down but still looked at it. 

"Alec there's plenty more to see," Magnus urged him to turn around. 

"I like this scarf so much, I have one just like it. I know I do. My mom made it for me when I was younger, I wish I had it now. I thank her every year for the scarf." He reminded himself as he was trying to walk away from it. 

"Do you think it's in your car?" Magnus asked him curiously.

"I don't remember. I know I never leave home without it but I don't know...why wasn't I wearing it when you found me?" Alec asked curiously as if Magnus could answer that but he really couldn't. 

"Oh, Alexander, you know I can't answer that, silly. Come on, let's get you some hot cocoa," Magnus laughed a little giving Alec a slight little head shake. 

Alec sighed and shook his head too as he followed Magnus to a small little truck that looked like an ice cream truck but instead sold coffee and other hot beverages. "I'll definitely have a hot chocolate." Alec shivered a little as he spoke.

"Magnus, my man! How's the hospital, the girls, you and Dot?" The truck vendor asked.

"Alls good my man, except, Dot and I...naaa, we have not gotten together yet," Magnus answered with a smile. "This is my friend Alexander, well that's what we're calling him, he's a bit lost at the moment, but we're hoping someone will come looking for him..." He added half-joking but was all the more as serious.

"Oh, I knew he looked familiar..." 

"You know me too?!" Alec raised a brow.

"No, just saw a few posters up around here that you needed to be found." The truck vendor shared with him the little flyer that was up. 

"That's such a bad photo of me, I look like a deer in headlights." Alec pouted.

Magnus stifled a laugh, "Well, that's exactly how I found you." 

Alec pouted and handed back the photo, "Whatever, can I just have a hot chocolate with whipped cream? I always have to have whipped cream." He remembered another thing about his past and how he loved when it got on his nose as he drank it.

"I'll have the same." Magnus smiled at his friend.

"Coming right up!" He left to go make two hot chocolates with whipped cream and came right back. 

Alec instantly took it and took a small sip with Magnus doing the exact same at the same time and both getting whipped cream on their noses, "Do I have something on my nose?" They said in unison. A shocked face appearing on Alec's face. "You...do...it...too?" He stumbled with his words as he licked his lips a little. 

"I do, I do it with the girls all the time." Magnus shook his head in disbelief. "I guess we have more things in common than we thought." Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec's nose to take off the cream. He then licked his lips fully right as he was looking at him. "I never had someone to do that to 'though." He smirked as Alec literally fell back in bliss.

"You're literally going to get it." Alec shouted but whispered at the same time. He didn't know what else to do. He just took another sip of his beverage and watched Magnus do the same. Alec slowly backed up so he couldn't kiss him again but was eyeing him to go for it. Magnus instead shrugged and started to walk away from him just to be a tease. Now that he made his move, or at least he attempted to he only wondered if Alec had got the hint that he wanted him to stay.

Of course, Alec felt it in his heart that some things were meant to happen and that perhaps fate was telling him that Magnus was this person he was meant to find and choose and quite possibly be with but at the same time he knew he had a life he was choosing to forget. Until he figured that out and why he was, he didn't want to hurt Magnus in any way because what if he couldn't come back once he discovered the reason why he left. He swallowed hard, tasting all the goodness of this hot chocolate. He kindly thanked the truck vendor when he realized that Magnus had ventured all the way across the other side of where they were standing together. 

Slowly, Alec started to walk towards the table of all kinds of Christmas tree ornaments and things for sale. He loved this. The idea of homemade Christmas ornaments was very dear to him. He picked one up and started to admire it for a moment. "Did you make this yourself?" He asked the young girl curiously. 

"Yes, everything here is handmade." She smiled sweetly.

"It's very beautiful, how much is this? I'd love to have it." He asked her curiously.

"For you 10 dollars." She smiled again at him.

Alec didn't think he had the money at first but when he reached in his pocket he found 10 dollars that definitely wasn't his but probably Magnus' and he probably put it in there too for him to use so he handed it over to her and she put it in a box for him to take with him. She also included a cute little gift bag too. Alec was busy looking across the table at Magnus looking at something too. It was in that moment that for a brief moment in time, Alec felt like he was soaring as he thought of kissing Magnus, having him near, and wondering how in the hell could he miss someone being close to him he barely knew, and hell, he barely knew himself. "Here you go." The lady said handing the small gift bag to him which brought him back down to earth. 

"Thank you." He whispered and darted his eyes back to Magnus who caught his eyes at the same time. Magnus gave Alec a small wink and beckoned for him to come over to where he was. Alec obeyed, of course, walking towards him in slow motion, or at least it felt like that.

"Did you buy anything? I left money in the pocket for you." Magnus smirked giving his arm a little squeeze when he was finally close to him.

"I did. I figured when I went to reach for the money, thank you. This ornament is perfect and it's handmade, you'll be glad you bought it." Alec winked.

"Is that so?" Magnus stood on his tiptoes to try and look into the bag.

Alec snatched the bag and held it away from him. "No peeking." He growled teasingly.

"Oh, I see how it is." Magnus snickered and started to walk backward away from him again leading him right underneath a mistletoe hanging from a tree. Alec didn't look up, just at Magnus who didn't know he walked underneath one either. The scenery behind him was beautiful too. The snow-covered mountain in the distance, the trees all around him covered in snow, it was the perfect scene from a movie. All too perfect to be ruined.

Alec sipped on his cocoa just because he could, he wanted to just stare at him for a second longer, he still hadn't looked up but if he did he knew that what happened before his eyes in a simple two seconds - it could have been him - but it wasn't and it was the weirdest, most grossest thing he'd ever seen all in one - as Dot had run towards Magnus and kissed him. She wrapped her arms around him, almost making him drop his cocoa too, but he didn't, but he should have and all over her. "Dorethea, what in the world are you doing?" Magnus was dumbfounded, "I almost spilled my hot chocolate." He raised his eyebrows at her pointing to it and that she needed to step away from him.

"Mistletoe!" Dot smirked happily, completely oblivious to literally everything. "Like we did last year...right at this spot...you said hopefully next year we can do it again..." She said loud enough for Alec to hear.

"But did it ever occur to you that things have NOT worked out between us...so what would make you think that we would do it again?" Magnus obviously was angry now, he knew Alec saw and at the corner of his eyes, he couldn't see him anymore. He sighed deeply and looked back at Dot. "I'm sorry, I don't feel that way about you, I didn't even feel anything then..." He admitted.

"Oh." Was all Dot could muster up, now she just felt so stupid but it was her own fault.

Magnus sighed and said goodbye as he needed to go and find Alec so they could go home now, he knew he ruined everything he had planned for them.

Alec hadn't gotten far, he didn't really know where he was but he kept getting distracted with how all of these little shops made him feel exactly like he belonged. "Alexander!!!!" A little voice shouted suddenly, and he realized it was Madzie. "I found him!!" She shouted as she latched on to him so he could pick her up. Madelynn and Olivia came running and Caterina right behind them.

"Well hello, girls, what a pleasure to see you." Alec laughed a little. "I thought you were told to stay home."

"It was only fair I brought them after all the begging they did, I can't resist them. Besides they didn't want to see their dad, they just wanted to see you." Caterina told Alec with a small laugh. "I see you lost him already..." She added with a slight nudge.

Alec reached to pick up Madelynn as well holding both of them in his arms as if it was nothing. "5 years old huh? You two love to be picked up." He shifted a bit. 

Olivia shook her head, "They always want to be held, they're very attached to my dad, and now for some reason you." She shrugged as she reached to give a slight hug.

"Well, your dad is somewhere...he was just kissing Dot over at the mistletoe..." Alec rolled his eyes. "I didn't notice there was one until she came running, but then I just walked away. She kind of came out of nowhere, I don't know."

"She kissed him?!" Olivia flailed. "Isn't it obvious after last night that it wasn't working out between them...geez..." 

"I guess not." Alec shrugged. "Hey it's okay, I mean maybe he realized he likes her too."

"Doubtful, last night he couldn't stop talking about you. He called me up to yell at me for spilling the beans about you to her in the first place. I didn't mean to do that and make it so awkward - truth be told - she's my best friend too...so you know gossip..." Caterina apologized the best she could for Dot's weird behavior. 

"It's alright. I guess. I mean. I don't know." Alec apologized too kind of feeling a bit light-headed all of a sudden as he set the twins down and bent down to be at their level. "I have an idea, why don't you girls show me your favorite place around here," 

"I know!" Olivia smiled, "Come on, it's over here." Olivia took Alec's hand and made her sisters hold hands and Alec take one of theirs as they walked past Magnus' friend the hot cocoa guy and right next to it was a seating area where it looked like a concert was about to begin. "They sing Christmas carols in about 20 minutes, this is the reason why I came. I love listening. Madz and Made love when they perform Little Drummer Boy." Olivia whispered to Alec.

"O' Holy Night is my favorite." Alec answered, "Close second is Little Drummer Boy." He turned to the twins antsy in their seats.

"Mine is 'Mary Did You Know?'..." Olivia told Alec, "It's not very popular, but they invited me to sing with them a couple of years, and maybe I'll be able to again this year since I'm here...I just...I haven't since my mom you know?" She added trying to keep herself from crying.

"That's amazing, I would love to see it," Alec promised and high fived the young girl with who he seemed to be sharing a special bond with hoping he wouldn't have to eventually leave her behind too. "You know your mom is shining her light down on you and wants you to do it." 

"I know, I want to do it for her." Olivia sighed happily.

"Okay, so you leave me behind and find my girls and head over to the concert without me?" Magnus tapped Alec and Olivia on the shoulder. He sounded mad but there was so much teasing in his voice.

"Hey! They dragged me, besides, I think they wanted the best seats in the house." Alec winked just slightly. 

Magnus moved over the chairs and in between his twin daughters so they could both sit on their father's lap. "Now, it's perfect." He smiled at Alec giving him that look he'd been giving him all day. "You okay?" He whispered into his ear. "You know why I'm asking right?" He asked curiously.

Alec turned to look at him, "Yeah, kinda...but I'm okay...it's fine." Alec promised with a small swallow as he looked down to see Magnus reaching for his hand to take. He took it not knowing why he did but he really was unsure of everything else so why not just do another thing he was unsure about. He took off his glove first though, giving Magnus a small smirk. 

"Madzie help me take off my glove for me?" He asked his daughter for help and she listened but looked to him curiously. "I know, I promise Alec is going to keep it warm for me." He instantly took Alec's hand and it was exactly that - so warm and filled with sparks that surged through him. They weren't looking at each other...as if they knew if they did something was going to happen, but not yet, not now, maybe not until that moment, if there ever was a special moment in time for what they were both thinkings even if it still might be wrong.

"I'm going to grab us some snacks for the concert, stay put." Caterina decided last minute when she spotted Dot trying to actually come between everyone and take a seat down before Magnus or Alec did. "Psst, don't do it. I heard you already tried to ruin them by kissing them right in front of Alec, you know something is happening between them so if you want them to be happy then don't ruin it!" She told her immediately.

"I had no idea he was even with Alec, I just saw him by himself standing underneath it." Dot swore, telling the truth.

"Even so you shouldn't have done it when Magnus made it clear to you he isn't into you like that." 

"I know, I just, well...there's something I need to tell him still...I think Alec doesn't want to be found and he's pretending to have memory loss because of it. That is totally not fair to Magnus." Dot mentioned trying to make her way over there not even caring about her causing a scene.

"No, not now. If you believe that fine, but even so, let it go." Caterina warned her and brought her with her to grab some snacks for the concert. 

When Caterina came back she handed everyone something she knew everyone would like...popcorn with extra butter and warm apple cider for everyone. She came back just in time as the show began for them to watch. The first song on their list was 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas' and the carollers were amazing singers. Alec turned to Magnus to look at him and mouth how good they sounded. Magnus smiled giving him a small nod, "Did Liv tell you how they invited her up for her favorite Christmas song to sing?" He asked in a soft whisper. 

Alec nodded softly, "I can't wait, I told her to go for it." 

There were a few more songs they caroled and then it was time for the song that Olivia mentioned that she was invited to sing with them and they did in fact ask if she was in the audience. Olivia stood up and bowed a little before running towards the stage. "Thank you so much for asking, I didn't think you guys would remember since I haven't since...my mom...you know..." She sniffled a little to hold back her tears.

"Oh honey, we're so happy you are here this year, we missed you, we always asked if you were in the audience." One of the carollers told her. 

Olivia smiled brightly at everyone and smiled even bigger when she saw her father and his new friend looking at her so proudly. "Umm, so I'm dedicating this song to my mother and to that guy right there, no not you dad, but you, Alexander, thank you for encouraging me and bringing a smile to my dad's face these past few days...it really means a lot to us as a family. We hope you stay." She cleared her throat a little. "This song is about a miracle, it's clear we have a miracle this year." She added as the soft music started and she really showed off just how well she could sing along with them. Her voice loud and projected against their harmonizing in the background. 

"Magnus, she can really sing." Alec turned to him and squeezed his hand that they somehow still managed to be holding in his lap. 

"I know, and she got better!" Magnus shouted a bit as she belted out the last note and everyone got up from their chairs and started clapping and whistling for her. 

Olivia took a bow and thanked everyone before running off the stage into her father and Alec's arms for a warm hug. "You did not tell me had those kinds of pipes girl!" Alec gave her another high five.

Olivia grinned brightly at him and blushed a little, "I've gotten better," She said proudly. 

"I've definitely noticed sweetheart, thank you for singing that and for dedicated it to mom and even Alexander." Magnus hugged her a little tighter.

"You didn't have to do that either, but thank you, Liv, thank you." Alec gently kissed her temple with another hug. How close he felt like he has gotten with his daughters was so unreal at this moment, he really couldn't leave them...not now...

///

"I swear I know who he is, I just can't put my finger on it. I've seen him before!" Dot was explaining to her friend Lydia. Lydia worked for the small magazine store in town. "Like maybe it was in a magazine." She shrugged.

"Well start searching, Dot. I've got like a million of them...duh." Lydia smirked. "You could start with your favorite, narrow down your search," Lydia suggested the obvious. "If you really think he's forgetting on purpose you need to find out why too and expose him!" 

"Oh believe me I am, he's getting in the way of what we and Magnus have." Dot said clearly still trying to get with him even after all that Caterina said and what Magnus told her after she tried to kiss him.

Dot started browsing her favorite magazines first, and it wasn't until the last one that she found it. There Alec was in a Marie Clair magazine. It was all about Home Decor and it was an interview on how he likes to prepare for Christmas in July as well as how you can book him now to decorate your house for the holiday. He was a busy busy guy how in the world did he have time for something like that especially knowing that he worked alone. "Alec Lightwood, huh? You are a horrible, horrible, human being trying to ruin someone's Christmas!" Dot said to herself running to Lydia showing her the interview in the magazine. "Let's get him!"

///

Before heading home for the night it wouldn't be perfect without seeing the Christmas tree lighting for the town, and then the more hot chocolate, and then the girls all falling asleep in the backseat of the car and Alec and Magnus bringing them all into bed.

"Today was amazing, Magnus, thank you for showing me your small town, for the amazing hot chocolate, your daughter's beautiful voice, and the simple little tree lighting...it really brought me happiness that I definitely know I needed," Alec said softly as they took a seat down on the couch together. Magnus was instantaneously moving into Alec wrapping himself around him to cuddle up against him as if he'd been doing it all his life.

"You're welcome, I really didn't expect the girls to even come, I didn't expect any of that but with you, things and miracles are just happening," Magnus whispered against his neck. "I really don't want you to be found, you can stay right here," Magnus spoke what he was thinking. "Oops."

Alec turned his head a little to look at Magnus, "Don't say that, please. What if I am a monster in the life I have to seem to have forgotten, what if I'm poor, what if an actual grinch?" 

"I wouldn't care," Magnus murmured and put his finger to Alec's lips from saying anything else. Alec didn't mind that, he didn't know what else to say, and for a few moments it was just deafening silence.

"I don't even know you myself, Magnus. But I have to admit something...when you were away from me for that brief moment today and then we caught each other from a distance and looked at each other...I craved this...I craved this moment right now." Alec broke the silence with his strange feeling. "I'm crazy aren't I?"

"You aren't crazy. Not in the least. It's as if you read my mind because the whole car ride home, I couldn't wait to get here with you and hold you like this..." Magnus admitted and shivered up against him, "Don't leave me, Alexander." He murmured.

If that was his name or not, it sounded so damn beautiful coming out his mouth and Alec shivered against him right back, "I won't, Magnus." He murmured and closed his eyes and started to remember something...someone was speaking to him telling him words he thought he'd forgotten forever, _you'll never find true love if all you want to do is work all the time and do things for others...you need to find someone, someone who will love you in between all this otherwise you'll become a grinch during Christmas and just consider it work..._

Alec opened his eyes, who said it, and was the voice right? Was all this why Alec chose to forget? His eyes glanced over the fire dancing in the fireplace and he got that urge to want to decorate it and the whole entire house and that was what he was going to do. Magnus gripped onto Alec a little tighter at the moment but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He looked down at it...it was the hospital. Magnus groaned but picked up, "Hello, yes, oh my gosh, no, no, I will be right there." Magnus let go of Alec, "I'm so sorry, I have to go work, a patient of mine just had a heart attack and I...I can't lose them..." He was frantically looking for his jacket that he tossed somewhere. "Please stay here, don't go anywhere, if I'm not home in the morning, you know what to do," He smiled softly through his fear.

"It's okay, I promise. Please don't apologize. I hope your patient is okay, okay? Go, I've got it." Alec promised, he wasn't sure if he really did but he felt confident enough...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small note: i made it my own but a small idea came from the movie 'all my life' when they are looking at each other and miss each other. if you seen the movie and know what i mean, just so you know if it sounds familiar. also this entire fic is based off a christmas movie i have seen in 2016, but i still haven't found it yet, haha. just so you know if it any of it is familiar to you. either way i hope you are enjoying, i'll see you soon with another chapter very soon. <3 don't forget to tweet me your favorite parts. #LFMfic @westallenkiss


	4. Chapter 4

Alec fell asleep on Magnus' couch. He was attempting to get up and try and make it to the guestroom but he was suddenly really tired and figured he'd just rest his eyes until he was able to make himself comfortable. In his slumber he had a dream about someone in his past, like Magnus who was trying to avoid Dot, he dreamt he was trying to avoid some dude who wasn't so bad looking. He was annoying and kept asking him when they could go out again and Alec agreed to it. He wondered what kind of dream this was but in the end, he remembered something else...they were kind of, sort of dating.

When Alec opened his eyes he was instantly squinting at the clock underneath the tv. "4 am, fuck." He rubbed his head a little and got himself up to use the bathroom and make his way into the guestroom. He stumbled a bit feeling extra groggy that he didn't realize he was being so loud that he woke up Olivia. "I'm sorry." He squeaked.

"It's okay, I was up anyway, is my father at the hospital?" She asked curiously.

"Yeah, he left around midnight, how did you know?" Alec made a slight face. "I was told to tell you in the morning if he wasn't home yet..."

"I figured, he didn't come in to give me an extra kiss goodnight and make sure I'm sleeping but to be honest I wait for that...I thought you were him..." She admitted.

"I'm sorry," Alec whispered, "It was urgent, a patient of his had a heart attack," Alec then frowned.

"Oh no, I hope it's not the older lady that he has a very special bond with ever since mom died..." Olivia teared up a little.

"He didn't say," Frowning, Alec tried his hardest to keep himself from crying too because that was really sad.

"It's okay, if he doesn't come home tonight, he'll more than likely call in the morning and let us know. He might just put himself to work too for the day to keep his mind off of it." Olivia warned Alec as she whispered a small goodnight to him and told him to get some sleep too.

He obeyed falling right asleep once he hit the bed. He ended up dreaming about being at the gas station and getting greeted by the same dude and calling him Andrew. He was about to ask who are you when he heard a phone ringing and it woke him right up from his weird dream. He didn't exactly know where the phone is the house so he was fumbling out of bed to look for it, "Oh it's right there...uh...um hello?" He picked up figuring it might Magnus but if not, he would have to explain that he was just a guest.

"Alexander?" Magnus' voice was soft like usual. "It's me..."

"Duh, but thank goodness...I realized after the fact that I picked up that this wasn't my house but you woke me from a really weird dream anyway...I mean...hi...so is umm everything okay?"

Magnus laughed a little shaking his head at Alec even if he couldn't see it, "She made it through the night, the heart attack was minor." He took a deep breath. "How are the girls? Are they still sleeping?"

"Oh that's such good news, I hope everything will be okay and you can come home," Alec sighed happily, "Yeah, they're sleeping although I might have woken them up."

"Na, they are pretty heavy sleepers but do me a huge favor and watch them for the day, you can do whatever you want with them, take them out, feed them, whatever you decide." Magnus pretty much just asked him without wanting him to turn it down.

"That's a lot of pressure, I mean, do they want to?" Alec really didn't know if they liked him enough yet.

"I'm sure they will, usually Caterina watches them for me on days I like to spend at the hospital, but she's here with me today, we've seemed to get a lot of work today..." Magnus mentioned, "It'll be fine, I promise. Thanks so much, Alexander." Magnus hung up not even letting Alec completely agree to it but he shrugged it off and went to go and see if the girls were up yet.

"Good morning girls, that was your dad on the phone, he's going to spend the day at work so he's left me to take care of you." Alec gave a little knock when he realized Olivia had already woken up the twins.

"I heard the conversation so I went ahead and got them excited for you." Olivia smiled.

"Yes, I'm very excited!" Madzie ran up to Alec and grabbed on to his leg to be picked up. Soon after Madelynn was running to him wanting to do the same thing so Alec picked both of them up with all of his strength. "So what do you girls want to do?" He asked curiously.

"I want to play in the snow, you promised you'd make snow angels with us." Madelynn poked him to remind him.

"Yes, I did. Let's do it, but you have to promise me you girls will button up and get properly dressed before we do, and before we go outside I'm going to make you some breakfast so you have a full stomach to play on."

"And when we come inside we will get hot chocolate?" Madzie questioned.

"That sounds perfect." Alec smiled at her and gave her forehead a small kiss setting both the twins down. "Olivia, if you could make sure they get dressed for the cold weather that would be great, and you must join us because best snow angel gets a prize." Alec wiggled his eyebrows.

"Sure thing, we all love surprises." Olivia smiled at Alec giving him a thumbs up before grabbing her sisters to get ready. Alec quickly made breakfast from scratch with eggs, bacon, and cheese. He mixed it all together making one big omelet for everyone to share. He added a little bit of salt and pepper for taste just in time for them to come running. "How in the hell did you get this done so quickly, I swear you're a miracle!" Olivia dug right in to try it, "...and it's like delicious," She moaned a little.

Madzie and Madelynn followed their sister and dug in, loving it too, "I like bacon," Madelynn said with a mouthful.

Alec couldn't help but laugh a little, "Cooking comes naturally to me, I feel like I can make anything you ask me to." He shrugged.

It didn't take long for the omelet to be eaten as the girls were excitedly getting into their winter gear that was set aside for them to jump right into. They all shouted at Alec to then hurry up and join them outside and he was following as quickly as he could. He shivered from the cold but the girls were already jumping down into the snow to make their snow angels. "Hurry up, you promised!" Madzie shouted at him.

Alec laughed again and jumped into the snow and started to create his snow angel. "Last but not least, come on, Live! What are you waiting for?" Alec looked up at her with a small squint.

"I'm going to be the judge, I decided." She grinned at everyone and made them sit up and look back at who was the best. "I think it's a tie!" She announced, "What do you think Alec?" She nudged him hinting that the twins should win.

"It very much looks like a tie to me, Madzie and Madelynn's are absolutely beautiful. Way better than mine." He announced.

"Yay!!" The twins shouted happily and high fived each other.

"But, wait don't you think Olivia should create one too?" Alec lightly pushed her against the snow to make her do it too.

"Yes, Livvy, pleaseeeee." Madelynn pouted.

"I agreee, pleaaaaase." Madzie handed tugging her sister's hand.

"Fiiiiiiine." Olivia whined and let herself flop into the snow and start waving her arms up and down to create her snow angel.

"Uh oh, it looks like we have a three-way tie." Alec decided to give her a small clap of his hands.

The twins giggling and more than happily wanted to share the joy with their older sister. "But what's the surprise?" Olivia raised her eyebrow.

"There really wasn't any kind of surprise, I was just thinking about what if we decorate for Christmas around the house. Do you girls have any decorations? We could make it pretty and it'll be a nice surprise for your father when he comes up."

"That's a great idea, we haven't really decorated since..." She stopped herself and sighed, "You know, yeah, but I think it's in the garage, we even have a fake tree in there that we put up one year...but we always had a real one." Olivia mentioned as she was leading him to the garage with him holding the twin's hands.

"Oh we have to find a real tree then, we can't put up a fake one," Alec shook his head, "Oh my look at all these decorations, are these all your mom's?" He asked curiously running towards the boxes that were all properly labeled. "I don't even know where to start, are you girls ready to help me?"

Everyone shouted excited to help as they all brought in the boxes one by one until they were sorting things and letting Alec know where they normally went. Madzie and Madelynn however kept getting distracted with some random Christmas toys that were put away probably because Magnus thought they outgrew them but if they were having fun with the memory, Alec didn't stop them as he and Olivia continued to decorate. "About that real tree, do you think it's possible to get one?" Olivia asked curiously.

"I do, only I don't drive and I don't know anyone...as you know..." Alec frowned a little.

"What if we ask Ragnor to take us?"

"Oh you're smart," Alec grinned brightly at her, "I'll give him a call, I do want to see if he has found any information on where my car is..." Alec got up from the floor to get the phone, he asked for Ragnor's number and quickly dialed it, "Hi Ragnor, it's Magnus' friend, he named me Alexander, I have two things to ask you, the first thing being, did you find any information on me yet?" He laughed a little as he watched Olivia untangle a string of lights.

"Not yet, but we're narrowing in, I was just going to call Magnus to ask if he remembered what backroad he took...what is your other question young man?"

"Well, Magnus had to go to work for the day and left me in charge of the girls and we decided to get a real Christmas tree and have it be decorated before Magnus came home just I don't have a car and so Olivia suggested we call you," Alec explained.

"Oh, I love that idea, and Magnus would be so thrilled." Ragnor answered, "I would be more than happy to pick you and the girls up to pick out a tree, I'll be there shortly." Ragnor was quick to hang up.

"He's going to be right down very shortly!" Alec high fived Olivia and told the girls to get ready again because they were going Christmas tree shopping. "Remember the taller the better, it's always better tall and you guys have an amazing ceiling for that!" Alec said out of the blue again just knowing he had a knack for decorating.

It didn't take long at all for Ragnor to come and pick everyone up in his police SUV that fit everyone in perfectly, "I would do anything for these girls as well, and my friend is going to love your idea, he definitely needs this kind of thing back in his life...did you find his decorations in the garage?"

"I did, I can't believe he has so many and skipped putting things up last year because of..." Alec didn't want to bring it up either.

"I know and for the first time in a long time I notice the girls are happy and smiling and actually want to be with you." Ragnor told Alec with a serious tone, "Have you remembered anything about your past yet? Or is it still blocked out?"

Alec swallowed a little making a slight face, "I remembered something in a dream, seems like I owe someone a date. Like his face is awfully familiar and his name is Andrew but I didn't like him like that...it almost felt like he's how Dot is to Magnus so a part of me thinks that it's just a dream..." Alec shrugged a little.

Olivia was listening in on the conversation and peeked her head to the front seat, "Do you like-like my dad?" She poked Alec asking curiously.

Alec turned to look at her the best he could and could feel his cheeks burning, "I don't really know, I haven't really given it any thought..." Alec lied a little but he really couldn't think about Magnus in that kind of way when he had this other life and what if he had to go back to it. They seemed to be the lingering question.

"It's been so long since my dad's been happy, you make him the happiest he's ever been since mom, please don't break his heart." Olivia frowned and leaned back into her seat again.

"Hey no, I promise I won't do that. I'm already attached to you girls too...I just don't know what will happen..." Alec sighed softly and turned back fully and folded his arms too.

"We have to let fate decide this," Ragnor added with a simple nod as he was turning and pulling into a place filled with Christmas trees galore.

Everyone in the car instantly bounced in their seats so excitedly as they were ready to get out just as quickly and start browsing for the perfect tree. Alec allowed the girls to start running around with Olivia's supervision as he had Ragnor stepped back for a moment. "Last night, he and I had this moment, he begged me not to leave him. I didn't know what to tell him. Apart of me doesn't want to leave, but I also want to remember, and I remember what you said about me choosing to forget because it's something I don't want to go back to..." Alec explained a little bit and tried to make more sense of it, "And what I'm choosing to remember now are the good memories I have with my family and little things remind me of them," He added, "Like for instance there was a scarf yesterday that I am hoping is in my car, and just now as I look at this tree, it brings me back to a memory I have with my sister..." He touched the tree and looked up at it. "It looks like the one we had, I know every tree is different but this - this looks just like ours." He took a step back, "Izzy would love to be reminded of it...oh my god did I say a name?" Alec was flabbergasted at himself and clapped his hands.

Ragnor patted the young man on the shoulder, "You are doing exactly what I said, just keep doing that and soon we'll know everything about you." He added calling the girls over to the tree that Alec was still looking at in awe.

"It has everything you said it needed to have," Olivia spoke reaching to touch it a little. "It's quite huge actually." She laughed.

"I like it too, I like how fluffy it is." Madelynn went to go sit underneath it and Madzie followed. "We can even play hide and go seek like we used to!" She added.

"Mommy never found us under the tree until we yelled surprise!!!" Madzie added with a slight frown from her memory. "She said we were always surprising her and we were the best surprise ever." She added with tears starting to stream down her face. "Where did mommy go?"

Oh no! Alec didn't know what to do, he completely panicked, and tried not to cry himself because he remembered his mother and father always fighting on Christmas all of a sudden and how and Izzy would hide underneath the Christmas tree because they felt safe underneath there as they tried to block out the yelling.

"Mommy misses you too, she's an angel now remember? She watches over you all the time, even when you are sleeping," Olivia reminded her little sister who was slowly starting to stop crying as she picked her up and took her and Madelynn's hand. "I think it's safe to say that we all agree that this tree is perfect." She nodded firmly.

"Yeah? I just hope Magnus will like it too."

"I think that's the sole reason why I want this, I just know my dad is going to," Olivia swore.

"Let's do it then, thanks for bringing us Ragnor," Alec nodded and followed up on having the tree being put on Ragnor's SUV and heading back home to start decorating.

///

It did take a while to plan out exactly where the tree would go. They ended up putting it directly against the front window of their house right next to what was their mother's favorite spot to sit to watch them open presents, according to Olivia. Alec loved how it looked there, said it was a perfect spot, and asked what they liked to decorate their tree with. Everyone agreed on white lights with silver tinsel and silver ornaments. It went really well the decor of the house. It seemed as if silver was very popular for them because literally, everything in their ornament box was silver. 

"I have to agree with your mom, silver is better, it just fills the room with so much more joy." Alec took a step back to see the results of the Christmas tree. They were all working so hard on it. He found a perfectionist in Olivia as well because that's exactly what he was. 

"It's perfect, you literally recreated our tree for us." She whispered because if she spoke any louder she felt like she could cry.

"It's like my mommy did it." Madelynn latched herself on to Alec.

"It's from your memories, girls, I just helped a little bit..." Alec promised as they were all standing there looking at it standing so tall and beautiful. "The height is literally so perfect...who puts the star on top?"

"Dad usually lifts me up for that, the twins were too young at the time," Olivia answered. "I think this year they should do it together with your help, but we can't do it until dad comes up." She then suggested.

"I like that idea, don't you, Madz?!" Madelynn remembered asking her mom when she could do it and she promised next year, but next year never happened. There was a small pout against her features as she realized she wouldn't be here to see it, "She's going to watch us do it right? She's up there watching us right?"

Alec pouted too and sniffled a bit trying so hard not to cry because that was the sweetest thing in the world, "Yes, sweetheart, she will watch you do it, she will be so proud of you, I promise." 

Olivia nuzzled her nose into Alec's shoulder a bit, "Thank you." She mumbled because there was no way she could even speak to that. She hated having to tell her sisters what happened every time they asked. They knew she left them but they didn't quite understand why yet, but they also grasped the fact that she could watch over them from where she was. 

"Okay everyone let's start making some decorations from scratch, "A little birdie told me how much you love to use the scissors when daddy isn't looking, well if I supervise let's make snowflakes out of white paper, it's simple and easy, and one of the best homemade decorations you can do. Every snowflake is unique so there will be no bad snowflake, are we ready?" Alec tried to hype the girls up and not get sad again because he really wanted them to make new memories knowing that their mother would be so happy that they were able to move on from her passing and celebrate her life instead. 

The girls did, in fact, get super excited about that idea and everyone began cutting a folded piece of paper doing as much damage as they could to it because no matter what when they opened it - it was going to look so unique. "Mine is done!" Madzie was the first to finish and when she opened the piece of paper to show it off - it looked absolutely perfect. Madelynn shouted right after her to take a look at hers and it was so different from her sisters and also looked so very unique. 

"I hope mine is as great as my 5-year-old sisters." Olivia closed her eyes and peaked only a little bit as she opened up her folded piece of paper, "Oh my goodness, you are right, it comes out ridiculously good no matter what," She bowed a little.

Alec grinned softly, "Let's see what I did." He opened up his to reveal one hell of a snowflake, it was so professional, like he traced it, but he just shrugged pretending it wasn't as good as the girls'.

"Oh shut up, you are a master at everything," Olivia hit his shoulder and stuck out her tongue at him.

"Heyyyyy, I'm only being nice, but come on, let's create some more and hang them around the house for your father," Alec told them as he was getting up to make them some hot chocolate. "Watch your sisters with the scissor please, I'm going to create some hot chocolate."

"Extra marshmallows please!" All three of them shouted in unison.

Alec boiled some hot water and got out the marshmallows and created little faces on them with chocolate chip morsels and added antlers with broken pieces of pretzels. By then the water boiled and he was quick to pour it into mugs that had each of their names on them, and the fact that they looked homemade he just knew that their mother must have created them for her daughters. He set the hot chocolate on a plate to carry over to the girls sitting Indian style still by the tree creating their snowflakes. "How do you like your marshmallows?" He wiggled his eyebrows.

"They are so cute, I don't want to eat them." Madzie laughed but took a morsel and put it in her mouth anyway.

"Is that so?" Alec laughed handing over the bag of marshmallows for them to enjoy however they pleased.

"You really can't do anything without making something so warm and cozy," Olivia sighed happily picking her little marshmallow reindeer. 

Alec just shrugged giving her a small wiggle of his eyebrows, "I really can't," He shrugged again taking some of their snowflakes to start hanging around the house. It was looking perfect. "I think the last thing we need to do is add lights, lights everywhere!" Alec spread his arms and ran over to the box of lights that were all tangled, "Good thing I remember how to do this," He smirked and got to work and then asked for help from the girls to string them around the walls and let some dangle down where the kitchen met the dinning room. 

Olivia started to laugh taking Alec's hand in hers, "I always begged my mom to do this, she didn't want us to have lights dangling because the twins were too young," She swallowed trying to keep the smile, "It's like you know my mom or something, like you're a miracle from heaven or something..." She got emotional after she tried her hardest not to.

Alec was quick to wipe her tears up from her face, squeezing her cheeks a little to make her laugh, "Shh, I'm not an angel, I'm just doing this from memory. I remember doing this with my mom, I remember her loving to put lights literally everywhere and it never looked like it was too much, it always looked just right, and your house is perfect for this..." Alec explained, it didn't make any sense to him but it's all he could remember.

"Well, it's beautiful. I want to meet your mom and thank her." Olivia sighed softly.

"She's going to meet you one day, I promise." Alec pondered to himself for a moment trying to think of the last memory he had with his mom and suddenly he was remembering more and he looked to Olivia wide-eyed, "The last thing I remember I did with my mom was bake gingerbread cookies!" 

"Ahhhh, I love gingerbread cookies, we have to make them like right now!" Olivia shouted, "Madz, Made, we're going to make gingerbread cookies!" She shouted again and the girls came running into the kitchen.

And it was perfect timing, absolutely perfect timing as the phone was ringing. "It's my dad!" Olivia exclaimed, "Daddy!!!" She then explained picking up.

"Hi sweetheart, I'm on my way home, it's starting to snow again so I'm going to take my time, is everything okay?" Magnus asked settling inside of his car and buckling up.

"Yes, everything is absolutely wonderful, we have a surprise for you when you come home, you're going to love it," Olivia answered looking to Alec with a huge grin on her face.

"Oh, that's so perfect, angel. Do I get a hint?" Magnus asked curiously.

"Nope, and I can feel you pouting so double nope." She smirked putting her finger to her lips as if to shhh Alec.

"Okay, honey, I can wait. I love you, tell Madz and Made, I love them too." He hung up with a small kissy sound and started his journey home. It was only 5 miles and it was a very easy way home but he knew to be extra careful when it started to snow. As he was driving he was thinking about Olivia and how happy she sounded on the phone and it must have been because of Alec. He had no idea that Alec would even think of doing something like this for him or even wanting to watch his daughters for him. He then remembered how he looked when he brought him home that night, how confused and vulnerable he seemed yet how good looking he was at the same time. He didn't want to be shallow either because of who Alec was as a person he didn't actually know and it made him think that if no one was looking for him what if he really was some horrible person. All he knew was that he looked like an Alexander, his Alexander, and he was so kind and a literal miracle and if he didn't slam on his breaks that night he would have never found him. Magnus sighed softly realizing he was the exact spot he had spotted him and he thought to get out and look for his car but it was already getting dark and he really wanted to home to see what the surprise was. He called up Ragnor real quick though as he pulled over to give him the exact location now that he remembered where it was exactly. Ragnor answered telling him he would go first thing in the morning tomorrow when the storm subsided.

The cookies were officially in the oven and cooking while the twins got distracted with eating the batter in the bowl, and Olivia went to the window knowing her dad would be arriving any minute when Magnus was pulling up into the driveway like clockwork. "He's home!" She shouted and made everyone hide behind the counter so when her father would open the door they could yell surprise and come running greet him with the first thing he would see was the tree and the lights all around.

Magnus opened the door slowly wondering why he wasn't be greeted just yet, but their loud surprise caught him off guard when he instantly saw the tree and the lights all around the living room and kitchen and even the dangling ones in the doorway of the dining room. "Oh my god, did you do all of this?" He looked right to Alec standing there as the girls ran to give him a hug wrapping their arms all around him. 

"I had a little help." Alec smiled softly at Magnus who looked absolutely tired and he noticed it right away.

"How did you get a tree?!" Magnus was getting pulled towards it. "It's real too." He touched it.

"We might have asked Ragnor to help us, we also decided on this one altogether because it reminded us of mom," Olivia answered. "Alec helped us decorate with all the silver too just as mom liked,"

Magnus sighed happily, he breathed out softly and mouthed a small 'thank you' to Alec and noticed the silver star was waiting to be put up. Madzie picked it up and tugged on her dad's arm. "Alec said that this year we can put up the star." She insisted pointing to Madelynn on the other side of Magnus for both of them to be lifted up. "We are old enough this year right?" 

"Yes, sweetheart, you are. And I know we didn't do it last year as mom promised," Magnus frowned as he bent down to get both his daughters in his arms. He found the strength to do it like he always used to and felt amazing. Alec quickly ran over to Magnus to support him if he fell allowing the girls to set the star on top. Olivia down at the bottom flipped the switch for the silver star to light up too soon as it was up perfectly. 

"It's beautiful." Alec practically swooned, "I have to say silver is my new thing, whatever Camille loved about silver is something I think I'm going to use all the time now." Alec decided with a small nod giving Magnus a little nudge. Magnus breathed in again and just rested his head against Alec's shoulder and took his hand in his. The sparks surged through both of them as they were pulling part just as quickly. The smell of the gingerbread cookies lingering in the air now. 

"Oh the cookies, I almost forgot!" Alec quickly ran to the kitchen to get them out of the oven. 

"And he makes cookies?" Magnus shook his head.

"Go talk to him, dad." Olivia gritted her teeth seeing that look on her father's face. She knew he was smitten.

Magnus cleared his throat and walked slowly towards the kitchen, "Alexander, thank you, truly, I mean that the entire car right home I was just thinking about how happy I was that you came into our lives, I can't thank you enough." He told him just above a whisper.

Alec shook his head, "No thank you, thank you for helping me that day. I forgot half of my life because I know I hated it...whatever leads me up to coming here was for a reason and it's because of you and your girls that I am remembering all the good things in my life, like how my mom and I used to decorate, how we used to create our own ornaments, how the more lights the better because if it wasn't for the girls helping me, I don't think I could remember. I only wish I could remember my name and why I hated what I was doing if I love to do it now...I...I'm sorry..." Alec reached to touch the now small bump on his forehead. 

"Please don't apologize, Alexander, you've been nothing but a blessing to us and that's such a good thing that you can remember all the good things, it means that you aren't a horrible person either because you want to remember the good things and I can't think of you as a bad person, not in the least bit." Magnus moved closer wanting to reach over and touch him but in swooped Madzie and Madelynn to grab the gingerbread cookies. "Did you girls eat dinner?!" Magnus growled trying to pretend like he wasn't just thinking about it.

"No, he didn't make us dinner but he did make us hot chocolate with reindeer marshmallows," Madelynn answered biting off the head of the gingerbread.

"Oops." Alec shrugged with a laugh eyeing Magnus.

"Is that so?" Magnus was raising his eyebrow holding in his laugh eyeing Alec as well.

Olivia was watching and shaking her head at them making faces at each other and knew that her twin sisters absolutely positively ruined the moment. "We also made all the snowflakes, we had no time for dinner..." She added looking to her father with that same smirk. 

Magnus glared at his daughter for the moment and then shhh'ed her, "How about we just have these cookies for dinner than I guesssss?" He decided. "Or we can have some more snacks and sit in front of the fireplace and watch a Christmas movie!" 

"Yayyyyyyyy!" The twins ran to the living room.

"It's Alexander's choice." Magnus took Alec's hand in his, "What's your favorite Christmas movie?" He raised his eyebrow taking him right onto the couch and crawling himself right up to him like he was made for him. 

"It's A Wonderful Life," Alec answered without hesitation feeling like he was in that movie like this was all a dream and he was discovering the true meaning of Christmas...

///

Meanwhile, while things were perfect, Dot was still on her mission to sabotage things, "Hello, Jace Wayland, this is Dorethea Rollins of Lydia's Books in Acra, New York, I believe I found your step-brother who you work for, Alec Lightwood? Yeah, he's been living here for the past 3 days pretending he's someone else...if you want to give me a call my number is 555-321-1234 and I'll tell you everything you need to know." She left a voicemail and hung up.

It was just shy of Christmas Eve Eve and with the small town's annual holiday party coming up that Magnus was bound to ask Alec if he wanted to come would be the perfect reveal of just what a fraud this _found_ person was...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really enjoyed writing this chapter, i really hope you all do. i have not yet decided how many chapters this is and i have two possible endings for you guys, so it might turn out kind of cool if i can possibly combine them. as always @ me on twitter with #LTMfic @westallenkiss with your favorite parts. <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so brings the angst and the 'oh my god' why are you doing this. i promise happy endings though! enjoy this chapter 'tho the best that you can! <3 
> 
> TW:  
> if you don't know what _it's a wonderful life_ contemplates before reading this chapter please be careful, minor mention of suicide, but only thoughts based from the movie itself.
> 
> TW 2:  
> mention of a stabbing.

Everyone was literally cozied up on the couch watching, "It's A Wonderful Life" which was one of the best Christmas movies of all time. Olivia loved to watch it and although Madelynn and Madzie didn't quite understand it somehow it was fascinating to them too. Especially seeing it in black and white. Madelynn liked to predict what every color the person had on, and Madzie would always correct her - they were twins but quite the opposite too. Alec found it so adorable and loved how they had so much commentary to the movie. It wasn't until a bit later that the twins started to drift off to sleep.

Olivia, Alec, and Magnus were all watching the movie very intensely, the ending was coming up, and no matter how many times Alec watched he always ending sobbing like a baby. He can remember every detail about the movie but not about his own life, but then something is clicking in his head and he remembers why he loved it so much. He too once felt like George in the movie, and he thought about if people would miss him or not, and what if he'd never been born - would things be different? He couldn't think of why he thought about that now lying here cuddled up with Magnus and his 3 daughters on a couch - it felt like he was supposed to have this life and not the one he was leaving behind. He swallowed to himself, trying to keep the tears from threatening his eyes. He knew it wouldn't help considering he was relating so hard to the movie now and feeling as if he remembered why he chose to stay here and why wouldn't he?

"I absolutely love this ending, it gets me every time. Literally, everyone showed up to help him." Olivia whispered wiping her tears.

Alec wiped his own, "It's what Clarence said, 'no man is a failure without friends', I don't know why but that sticks with me. I remember it more than anything and I think it's because I don't have a lot of friends so yeah, I guess I'm a failure." Alec laughed a little uneasily.

"No you aren't, don't say that. You're wonderful." Magnus spoke up through his own tears.

"Yeah, my dad is right. Thank you actually," Olivia spoke a little louder. "Thank you for reminding me what it's like to have a mom around again," She whimpered a little as tears started to stream down her face again as she reached over to hug him tightly.

Alec sobbed softly, shaking his head, he didn't deserve that - at least he didn't feel like he deserved it. The twins stirred a bit in between the hug as they two were just reaching to hug him but also to want to be put into bed. "Olivia, thank you, I mean, I wasn't trying to overstep or anything, I just truly wanted to make your Christmas happier this year, so I am so glad that I could." He breathed in and let a soft happy sigh.

"You've definitely made our Christmas that much magical, only two days away, I do hope you'll stay." Magnus was tearing a bit himself as he sniffled as he spoke. "Come on, let's get the twins to their beds, and you and I can continue the cuddling on the couch." He added with a soft and serious tone. He just needed to get to know this man more. The way he sobbed at the movie as if he related all too well and Magnus lingering with so many questions.

With a soft nod, Alec rose from the couch with both twins attached to him, he handed over Madzie to Magnus so they could walk together to place them in their beds. Alec whispered goodnight softly to Madelynn and tucking her in gently and then automatically switched over to Madzie to do the same while Magnus moved over to Madelynn. It was as if they were doing this all along. After that, Alec asked if Olivia wanted to be tucked in too and she of course wanted to only if Alec and Magnus did it together.

"It's so strange, I just watched you two that as if you'd been doing it all along as you've just been here all this time..." Olivia said to Alec as she took his hand to lead him to her bed.

Alec shook his head and tucked her in quickly. "It felt right, like...I mean...I don't know." He mumbled a bit and shook his head more at his thoughts about all of this. "Goodnight, Olivia."

"Goodnight, Alexander." She whispered. "Goodnight, dad. I love you both." She grinned softly now underneath the covers up to her chin looking at them both.

"Goodnight, sweetpea. I love you too." Magnus smiled a little himself and took Alec's hand to bring him back to the couch instantly, wanting nothing more but to cuddle and continue talking.

Upon bringing him to the couch, he allowed Alec to sit down first as he crawled up into his arms, resting his head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat as he spoke to him. He did as if he had been doing it for a long time and how he could just crawl up to Alec like that made him wonder. "Tell me you feel it..." He murmured.

"I feel it. If you feel what I feel..." Alec murmured back, "Like you're supposed to be doing this,"

"Mhm, and what's even scarier is that you make me feel at peace with myself." Magnus breathed in.

Alec watched as his head moved softly against his chest as he breathed. He took in a deep breath and tried to remember the last time he felt this kind of connection with someone but he couldn't. "There was someone named Andrew that I'm leaving in the dark, I was supposed to go on a date with him, I think I made it official with him," Alec mentioned knowing that was the only person he ever had feelings for. It started to come back to him and he didn't want it to, not like this, not while Magnus was so close to him because now he probably ruined the moment.

"Oh." Magnus mumbled under a sigh, "Do you like him?"

"I'm not even sure, I don't know why I had thought, I can't even recall his face." Alec bit his lip.

"I bet he's handsome," Magnus mumbled having no idea why he said it, sometimes he got unconfident.

"Na, why would a handsome guy be into me, I never even had a boyfriend before," Alec admitted with a little blush to his cheeks.

"You've never been with anyone before? Or you just can't remember?" Magnus asked curiously bringing his chin to rest on his chest as he looked at him.

"I haven't been with anyone before, I've never felt like this before either. I am positive." Alec felt so sure of it as he looked down at the man resting against him actually looking at him as if he was the most beautiful man in the world.

"You are absolutely gorgeous. I honestly don't believe that." Magnus confessed. "I'm sorry if that's too forward, but you are beautiful."

"It's not at all, I can't imagine anyone else calling me beautiful either," Alec answered with a bit of a soft murmur.

"Alexander, you have no idea how incredible your personality is too, it makes you even more beautiful," Magnus admitted.

"I think my name is Alexander too because it just feels so safe in your mouth like you are supposed to call me that..."

"You look like you are, you look like Alexander but no one calls you that accept maybe your mother..." Magnus pondered with him. Alec shrugged a bit running his fingers along Magnus' back, breathing him in and just resting his head back a little to get more comfortable. Magnus moved with him draping his hand over his stomach and now resting on his shoulder. "Tell me something you remember," He whispered gently touching his skin underneath his shirt where his hand was.

Gently inhaling to exhale slowly really enjoying Magnus' touch, Alec then swallowed. "I've been in George's place, I think at one point in my life I wanted to give it all up, but I discovered a joy in decorating. I enjoy it too much. I enjoy seeing other people happy. I don't have many friends like George realizes he did in the end...which brings me to why I came here in the first place...I think..." Alec explained. "Like what if I tried to get away and had an accentident and this is all just a dream."

Magnus shook his head, "You're not dreaming, because if you're dreaming then I'm dreaming too. I don't want this to end. If this is your dream then why am I the one feeling your skin so soft underneath my fingertips?"

"I don't know." Alec breathed in feeling his touch, it was sending shivers down his spine and his whole body was trembling as he tried to draw him closer. "I've never felt like this before..."

"I feel like I could kiss you right now," Magnus confessed as he was moving in even closer from the way Alec was bringing him in.

"I wouldn't stop you," Alec murmured biting down on his bottom lip, still trembling when he felt something vibrating between them.

"You've got to be kidding me," Magnus whimpered reaching in between them to look at his phone.

"Oh." Alec laughed quietly. "I didn't know what that was, it's fine." He literally random-lettered in his head biting harder on his bottom lip and trying to hide his flushed cheeks as he brought his hands up to cover them.

Magnus shook his head taking his hands down from his face as he answered the phone once he noticed it was the hospital again, "Hello, yes, hi Caterina, everything okay? What? No. No. No. Please no." His voice cracked. "I just saw her, we had her in stable condition...did you at least try to save her? I'm sorry, yeah, it's okay, well it's not but there's nothing we can do now." Magnus swallowed as tears were starting to stream against his face. "I did everything I could for so long," He wiped one of his tears looking to Alec apologetically and he just knew what had happened and now he felt devastated for him and maybe he was bad luck or something and nothing to do with any kind of good luck. "I hope she's an angel and will say hello to Camille for me, I told her how I was finally allowing myself to fall for someone..." Magnus admitted looking to Alec again reminding him that this wasn't his fault because of the way he was looking back at him. "Thanks, Cat, see you soon, goodbye." Magnus hung up and just started sobbing. Alec caught him and let him sob in his arms trying to not think anything bad about this situation and how strange it almost was.

"Did you really tell her you were falling for me?" Alec asked as his finger slowly lifted Magnus' chin to look at him.

Magnus nodded through his tears pressing a small kiss to Alec's chin, "She always made sure I was happy, asked me if I could let go yet, I just loved talking to her about everything, she told me it brought her happiness. She was the most selfless person I'd ever known." He was still crying as he spoke as he gently shook his head.

"I'm sorry for your loss, I'm so sorry you don't have that with anyone else..." Alec answered with a pout. He so badly wanted to kiss him still, but not now not while he was crying.

"It's okay, I was starting to feel like that with you too, I just wish you could have met her, one kind soul meeting another kind soul..." Magnus sighed sniffling a little bit. He reached to blow his nose as his phone was ringing again, "Could you answer that for me?"

"Uh sure," Alec answered. "Magnus Bane's phone how may I help you?" Alec was indeed trying to be a little humorous as he raised an eyebrow to Magnus. "Hello, Alexander, it's Ragnor, I'm glad you've answered the phone, it's you I'd like to talk to. I'm not exactly sure how he got our number but there is someone looking for you, his name is Andrew Underhill, and he claims to be your boyfriend, he also mentioned to us that your name is actually Alec Lightwood..." Ragnor mentioned, "Do you have any recall of this?" He then asked as Alec gulped looking at Magnus, like how was it possible that he named him Alexander when his actual name was Alec or what he went by. It fit. Like Magnus was supposed to call him that but he remembered how much he hated to be called Alexander but yet Magnus just out of the blue calls him that and it's okay and he never loved it more. "I am Alec Lightwood." He said out loud for the first time since he closed his laptop to sign off his YouTube DIY. "Yes, you are, we are still waiting to go to your car tomorrow but we can all try and find it first thing tomorrow morning so we can close in on this and get you home." Ragnor didn't know how Alec was feeling at the moment or if anything potential was happening with him and Magnus so he didn't know if he actually wanted to go home just yet anyway but now that Alec knew he did have a life he left behind - he felt as if maybe he did owe an explanation. Alec swallowed before speaking, "Did this Andrew say anything else? Like how he found me?" He was still looking at Magnus who wanted to start sobbing for a whole another reason. "No, he did not. It did seem very suspicious to me, I don't think he was the one who got the call...there is a missing piece to this, I was hoping you could help us." Ragnor answered. "I honestly don't know, I can't even remember where my car is," Alec said in a soft voice and reached out to take Magnus' hand. "I'll see you in the morning, we're getting to the bottom of my mess." 

He hung up the phone and bit his lip as he looked at a sad Magnus, "You want to go back don't you?"

"I didn't say that, I just want to find out who I am and why Andrew is the only person who cares..." Alec definitely felt like he worded that wrong as he made a face.

"Why is everything happening right now at 11 pm at night? Seriously, I just want to go to bed, goodnight Alexander." Magnus got up off Alec and the couch all together and fumbled himself all the way into his room to burst into more tears. 

"Magnus!" Alec shouted. "That's unfair." He didn't say that as loud as he shouted his name, but he didn't want this to be his fault. It took him a second to run into Magnus' room and he sat directly on edge of the bed and made Magnus look at him, "I only want an answer, Ragnor said it felt very suspicious, and all I can think about is that someone did find me and went to directly to Andrew on purpose because he thinks I want to be with him and I'll come home to him but I don't want to. I don't want to go back to him." Alec swore.

"But that's your life, this isn't, I can't make you stay." Magnus suddenly just felt like he was dreaming and this was all too good to be true. 

Alec shook his head and pushed Magnus over on the bed so he could crawl himself up to him, "I want this." He mumbled against his neck breathing him as he nuzzled his nose against him and his legs instantly tangling up with his, "I want you." He added in the same mumble biting softly at the crook of his neck. Magnus shivered completely intoxicated by him, and how they didn't even touch lips yet and suddenly Alec was aggressive as this made him lose his mind a little. 

"How do I know I'm not the one dreaming now?" He half-joked shivering again as Alec's tongue was gently going over the small bit mark. He'd never done anything like that before as Magnus heard him apologize softly for it. "You're good, Alexander, shut up." He half laughed as he pulled him back to look at him. He could kiss him and he planned to but something stopped him yet again - this time it being a scream that sounded like it was coming outside. 

The both of them with wide-eyes looked at each other and ran to the door to see what it was when they opened it they found Lydia stabbed laying down in the snow. Alec ran out further to go look around for who did it and where did they go as Magnus was quick to take her inside. "You're okay," He promised her grabbing a towel quick to stop the bleeding, "Alexander! Don't worry about who did it right now, I need you to help me, grab my kit - it's right there!" Magnus pointed, "I can clean her up and stitch her, it's not as deep as I think." He promised the young girl. "Look at me, do you know who would do this to you?" Alec distracted her right away as Magnus started to clean her up as quickly as he could.

"He...he...was wearing a green jacket, he was following me," Lydia answered with a few tears in her eyes.

"Why were you coming here?" Magnus asked curiously starting to stitch her side where he just missed literally her organs. "You're lucky by the way, this guy wasn't at all skilled in knowing how to stab someone." He made a snarky remark, but he shouldn't have just that something didn't feel right about this situation either. 

"I was coming to tell you that Dot called someone Alec knew, I didn't know your number and she wouldn't give it to me. I wanted to make sure you were both coming to the Holiday Party tomorrow but to be prepared for something Dot might do...then this dude just showed up and started to follow me...I..." Lydia felt faint from the bit of blood that she lost. 

"Well, I'm at least glad that storm subsided before you decided to come here." Magnus was still being snarky and once he realized that Dot was involved with this he just looked back down and continued stitching her.

"I really like your work, Alec. I enjoy DIY's every Tuesday." Lydia said right before she passed out.

"Wait what..." Alec fell backward, she called him Alec and knew more about him then he did when suddenly he was remembering. "Fuck, Magnus, the last thing I did before you found me was a DIY for Christmas...I was creating snow globes and snowflakes...I remember." 

Magnus looked to Alec and cracked a smile, "Tell me why she's here now because I don't like this,"

"That I am just as dumbfounded as you, who would want to stab her?" Alec raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know but this is weird, I guess we're going to let her sleep on the couch, and tomorrow we are all going to this Holiday Party because whatever Dot has up her selves I am so ready for..." Magnus made sure everything was okay with Lydia before calling up Caterina and telling literally everything that happened right up until this and Caterina was swearing left and right because her best friend didn't deserve this especially after losing someone he cared so much about yet again, and now he could even lose Alec. She promised to be right over to keep an eye on Lydia through the night.

Caterina kept her promise using the key she had to get in, everyone fast asleep, checking up on the girls instantly, then Magnus and Alec tangled up in bed looking like they just about had a day. She took the sleeping girl and brought her to the car to take her back to her place up the road to take better care of her, after all, it's what she loved to do. She left Magnus a note and promised to see him at the Holiday Party.

Now, just what did Dot have planned?


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so are ready for another plot twist?! ;)
> 
> also this is from another christmas movie i saw that i also forget the name of but i really wanted to do this with my sappy arse so please enjoy and i promise happy endings!!

Alec woke up the second he heard Caterina leave. He was having a dream about someone calling him, telling him to come to the light, telling him that he needed to remember soon or it was going to be too late. He tried so hard to wake up so when he finally did he was thankful because that dream officially scared him, and he needed to make sense of it soon. He crawled out of the bed of Magnus' arms and hoped he'd stay asleep. When he didn't move much except roll over Alec sighed a bit of relief and slipped into the kitchen to grab a cookie or something. He didn't find anything he wanted to eat so he just ended up trying to decipher his dream.

"Can't sleep?" Olivia asked startling him from his own thoughts. 

"Y-yeah." Alec mumbled a bit with a small shrug. "I had this insanely weird dream about someone telling me I needed to go to the light...like I'm dead or something...I..." He rubbed his temples.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking myself while laying in bed," Olivia mentioned. "I think you're an angel, or about to be one, and you just haven't had the opportunity to cross over right...hence your dream..." He explained.

"Oh please, Olivia, please don't say that." Alec scrunched his nose and rubbing his temples more.

"It's just that no one can be this perfect for my father, no one can know so much and make things look so perfect without even try, and not to mention how suddenly someone comes knocking on our door stabbed..." She told him, "Sorry, I was up...I couldn't fall back to sleep...I don't like sleeping sometimes myself because lately I've been having nightmares...they only started when you arrived so I too just think it's my mom's way of trying to communicate...you're an angel...you need to believe it." Olivia insisted.

Alec sighed deeply and shook his head, "I don't believe in that kind of thing," He frowned apologetically. "I really don't belong here," He added. "I should have left when I wanted to in the first place..."

"There's a reason for all of this, you just have to believe." Olivia insisted again and made her way back to bed leaving Alec to himself with no goodbye. Alec then just took it upon himself to go onto the couch and try and see if he could fall back to sleep and continue his dream...

_"Alec Lightwood, you are in fact an angel, we in fact needed you to help Magnus' family." A voice spoke to him, he couldn't see who it was at first until he moved slightly closer to discover it was an old lady._

_"Who are you!" Alec shouted. "This isn't funny."_

_"I can't tell you that yet, I can't tell you anything, but you need to listen to Olivia. Angels do exist. They exist to help people. You were in a horrible accident sliding off of the road and hitting a tree. You were talking to someone right before the crash, it was your unfinished business but we also had a very special request from someone up in Heaven...and you actually performed your miracle...you can cross over now if you wish to." The old lady explained._

_Alec shook his head in such disbelief. "Who are we, who are you, where am I?"_

_"We as in the angels, I'm someone very close and dear to Magnus but I can't say anything, yet...as for where you are...you are dreaming, this is the only way we can contact you, for a while you had us blocked out because of serious brain damage, someone found you though, they sent you to the hospital...now you're in a coma..." She took a breath, knowing she should have told him that, she could allow him to cross over or stay in that horrible coma before his family came and would decide to pull the plug._

_"Woah, Woah, Woah, I'm in a coma? How come no one knows of this?" Alec nearly shouted in his dream, still in complete disbelief._

_"It was easy keeping it a secret up until recently...someone got involved...we all had plans for your family to come up and make the decision." Again the older lady explaining more than she was supposed to but Alec wasn't actually capable of putting all of this together when he was already losing his battle. "Did a young girl try to come over and tell you something?"_

_"Yeah, and she was stabbed...did you have something to do with that?"_

_"No we didn't but we have reason to believe that someone is trying to stop the truth from coming out, someone from your past that wants to see you suffer...you just have to remember...and then maybe you can save yourself..." The old lady sighed before vanishing before Alec's eyes and he just dropped to his knees to start crying because what the hell was going on? What did all this mean? How could any of it be true._

He woke himself up with a loud gasp as if he was choking on air, his body starting to feel numb and really cold like he was losing oxygen to his brain like he really was in a coma.

It was close to morning now so Alec quickly got up from the couch and fumbled into the kitchen to make himself some coffee. Maybe that would just wake him and he wouldn't have to worry about exactly what was going on in his brain. Why he would dream such weird things?

"Did you make some for me?" Magnus pouted as he walked into his kitchen to find Alec sipping his coffee over the edge of the counter in a daze which only startled him.

"Jeez, do you all just have to scare me when walking into the kitchen?" He snapped a little, "There's umm plenty for everyone...do you want some breakfast?"

"Uh, no that's okay...everything alright? Did I scare you?" Magnus softly reached to touch Alec's arm over the counter and his nose rubbed up against his ever so slightly. "You were definitely in a daze when I walked in, I'm sorry if I scared you."

"I just, it's complicated...but Olivia thinks I'm angel, and then directly after that, I had this dream where I got a shitload of information that I don't know what to do with and I'm just really fucking confused, pardon my french, I just...am I an angel?"

"You definitely like an angel, but I don't think you're an actual angel, that doesn't exist..." Magnus also didn't fully believe. "If all of that exists, Camille would still be here, Lydia wouldn't have gotten stabbed...speaking of which I can see Caterina kept her promise and took her so maybe she's better now and we can talk to her soon..." Magnus answered Alec moving around him to make himself a cup of coffee.

"Yeah, I'd really like to talk to Lydia to find out more information before we go to the thing..." Alec mentioned as he turned around to find Magnus and reach his arms out to put them around his waist as if he'd been doing it all of his life. Magnus smirked at him as he sipped his coffee. "What do I wear to this shindig?" 

"I know exactly what you need to wear, you will look so handsome in it." Magnus continued to smirk and sip his coffee, loving how Alec was gently running his fingers along the small of his back. 

"Is that so, well I just want to have fun, I need to have fun. But we first need to find out this weird thing between Lydia and me..." Alec swallowed as he slowly started to pull back from Magnus when he felt a wave of something wash over him, like a really strange and weary feeling that almost made him fall over. 

Magnus instantly put down his coffee to catch Alec and hold him up against the counter. "Alexander, are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

"I'm fine." Alec murmured as his eyes closed and now he felt like he was in a daydream remembering something.

_I'm going to get that position, it just can't go to you." Lydia snarled over the phone to Alec as he was driving in the snowstorm to the cabin Jace had for him._

_"Why can't it go to me? I'm the one who has been dreaming of having it, it'll be perfect for me to work from," Alec insisted._

_"You have absolutely no right to have it, you've lied to me about being gay, you've only dated me so your parents wouldn't disown you, you owe me." Lydia cried out now hating how horrible Alec had always been to her when all she ever did was want to help him, "Now you are trying to take my bookstore because it'll look good for your business? I'm sorry Alec but no."_

_"I apologized for that, my mom ended up accepting me, just the fact that you can't stand that I'm in a better place now doesn't mean I owe you anything, it's my mom's bookstore...why can't I have it?"_

_"It's the whole principle, Alec, you only care about yourself. I'm hanging up now, I hope karma bites you in the ass." Lydia hung up the phone and that's when the screeching sounds started echoing in his head the jamming on the breaks as he jolted forward and hit his head._

Alec's eyes opened as he gasped for air again, life coming back to him again, he didn't look blue anymore and Magnus let out a deep breath, "I swear to god, I thought I lost you, what is going on?" Magnus's hand was on his chest feeling his heartbeat.

"I don't know, but I remember how the accident happened." Alec gulped, "I was yelling at Lydia and the last thing she said to me was that karma will bite me in the ass, so there's that..." 

"We need to find out what's going on right now," Magnus demanded just as the doorbell was ringing and the door opening to Caterina and Lydia.

"She insisted we come this instant, I'll let her explain everything." Caterina stepped back and Lydia was instantly speaking...

"It's all my fault, I tried so hard to hide that I knew you to Dot, I kept in this secret for so long. I just really wanted to keep my bookstore. I know your mom owned it first but she gave it to me, fair and square, and you had your business, I'm sorry I said what I said when I said it because you wouldn't be in this predicament..." She took a breath.

"Uh, what predicament is that exactly?" Alec rubbed his temples a sign of his nervousness.

"Did an old lady come to you and tell you some things? She came to me in a dream and said I had to try and remind you of what happened so you would remember only someone tried to stop me...I don't know who that was..."

"And it wasn't Dot?" Magnus questioned because Alec was staring dumbfounded at the entire situation.

"I'm not entirely sure, why would she attempt to kill me for wanting to tell the truth? She wanted to get to the bottom of this too." 

"It's all very too coincidental because Dot is a very jealous person and she's been trying way too hard at times for me to like her," Magnus mentioned. "And knowing how you were coming over here to try and warn us..." 

Lydia shook her head, "It's way more than I can handle at the moment, I thought she was my friend."

"Yeah," Magnus swallowed, "It's been going on since Camille and me...at one point I think she had even brainwashed Olivia into thinking she was right for me..." 

"Dear God, I'm so sorry," Alec spoke up and took a deep breath to apologize because he suddenly felt really dizzy again. Magnus caught him and made him sit down on the couch. 

"Maybe we shouldn't go to the Holiday party..." Magnus whimpered wanting to take care of Alec first. Nothing else mattered to him. 

"No, I'll be okay, I really want to go." Alec sat up a little and latched on to Magnus. "I just don't want Dot to ruin our moment." Alec to be honest already had visions of enjoying himself with Magnus and sharing their first kiss, everything just felt entirely right and magical when he thought of that and if his dream was true he didn't have much time left. 

"Are you sure?" Magnus helped Alec up, "I'm sure we can keep Dot from coming," He looked to Caterina and Lydia for that.

"You got it." Caterina answered, "She owes if anything Lydia the biggest apology in the world." She answered and left. "If we don't get to see you there have fun for us," Caterina added before leaving and Lydia was apologizing again for everything. 

Magnus was taking Alec by the hand to his bedroom to show him the outfit that he had for him to wear. It was a very neat polka dot shirt that was one size too big for Magnus. "It'll fit you perfectly." He decided firmly and encouraged him to put it on as they were looking in the mirror together. Alec undressed as Magnus helped put the shirt on from the back and allowed Alec to button it up, "Look at that, I was right, you look as handsome as ever," Magnus pressed a slight kiss to his neck. 

Alec blushed still looking at Magnus through the mirror with a million thoughts running through his head and why this was happening. All of it. Every single moment leading up to this feeling. "I feel like I am dreaming," He swallowed. "...because you still want all of this with me...even after finding out that I am or was a dick to Lydia, how I lied to my parents, how apparently I was afraid of being who I really am..." He swallowed again. "No one has ever made me feel the way you do and the fact that all of his could just end...Magnus...I...don't want it to end..."

Magnus slipped his arms around Alec's waist and tucked his head around his shoulder to kiss it, "I won't let you go, not at least with a proper goodbye." Magnus promised. "I can't imagine you leaving now and if you're dreaming then I'm just going to wake up with you." Magnus shrugged a little and let Alec go so he could go and get himself dressed. "Want to do me a favor and check up on the girls, they should be getting ready to come too, I think Olivia just went ahead and took over when she saw the commotion happening in the living room." Magnus laughed a little closing the door on Alec not wanting him to see what he was going to wear.

Just like suspected, Olivia did in fact her sisters ready to go. "Your father knew exactly what you would do." Alec laughed a little leaning against the door frame.

"I always know what to do," Olivia smiled as she and the twins ran to him to latch on to him for a really tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you," Madelynn pouted.

"I thought you were coming with us?" Alec bent down to hold her on his knee.

"The old lady said this was your last day on earth..." Madelynn answered him as serious as ever.

"Who? Who is the old lady?" Alec couldn't believe this. She was visiting them too?

"She said you're an angel, and she's your guardian angel, just like our momma is our guardian angel," Madelynn answered him and Alec actually did feel slightly better at this whole being an angel thing and that it might actually be real. He shook his head a little though, he wasn't going to let his death apparently coming up get in the way of this. "You will join my mom soon won't you?" 

"Shhh, no don't say that. We don't know that." Alec promised standing up and to hold her tightly in his arms.

"She said there wasn't much time left," Madelynn swallowed and buried her head in his chest with Madzie clinging to his leg and Olivia looking at them with a soft smile to try to hold back the tears.

"Well, isn't this a kodak moment, I'm so grateful my girls love you, I will always tell you what a blessing it's been to have you hear for them even if it's just a short amount of time." Magnus mentioned soon as he saw everyone all ready to go and just having what looked like a special moment. "Are we ready?"

"Yes, we are. Just like you predicted they were all ready to go." Alec smiled having Magnus lead the way and cleared his throat a little for Olivia to keep the twins quiet about all of this. He wanted to tell Magnus on his own, he wondered if he were to tell Magnus the truth he could maybe wake up...

"I'm starving, I can't wait to eat." Olivia was quick to change the subject before anything else was said and her sisters quickly agreed they were just as hungry.

The hospital cafeteria/basement was where the party was being held and it was the first time Alec was setting foot in a hospital since he had his wisdom teeth pulled. "To be fair, I hate hospitals." He made a face as he latched onto Magnus who was walking directly over to some of his colleagues to introduce Alec. They all knew him as _the guy Magnus found_ and all made a joke that they were glad to finally meet him thinking Magnus was just making him up. Alec laughed uneasy as it made him even more uncomfortable because what if he really didn't exist in the first place. Was he turning into a pumpkin at midnight or something since he was apparently dying in a coma upstairs somewhere. All these questions still in his head and needed to find a moment to talk to Magnus all about it and he even thought that with a kiss he could save him. 

Within a few minutes of mingling and a few more people showing up and everyone just seemed so happy that it was in fact the holidays and all the happy smiles made Alec start to feel slightly at ease. He couldn't figure out why he was such a grinch around the holidays according to other people. "These decorations are actually beautiful, not as beautiful as what I did to your house but you know really good for what is an actual basement of a hospital." Alec joked with a slight face and small shrug. "I'm just really happy I came, the food is really good." He pointed to what he was eating. "Or maybe I'm just trying to pretend as I enjoy it." He winked. "I'm teasing, really. I'm just trying to enjoy this because I know how much this means to you." 

"It's just tradition and we all have a good time the night before Christmas Eve, the girls love it too and I guess the tradition of it...and I never want to break tradition even when we lost Camille, we still managed, granted last year I had to try and avoid kissing Dot three times because we always ended up underneath a mistletoe..." Magnus looked up as he spoke and what do you know they were standing underneath one. Magnus then looked at Alec with a slight smirk.

"It seems as if you always end up underneath one huh?" Alec wiggled his eyebrows. "I might have had the same intention as Dot bringing you directly underneath this for my own benefit..." He added with a slight wink and soft blush, "... the thing is...I've been thinking about this moment for quite some time and I never knew I needed it until that moment it almost happened and we were a second too late."

"It feels like every moment with you a second too late, like something is keeping us from doing it and if I am being completely honest with you it's the only thing I've needed to since the moment I came home to our house decorated..." Magnus admitted with a slight frown a bit scared of it all. "Now you got me thinking I'm dreaming, what if I wake up after I kiss you?"

Alec's breath hitched, he was staring at Magnus' lips at that moment and wondered what the angels had planned for him. Was he going to wake up the second they kissed? He took one more deep breath and let his eyes dart from his lips to look into Magnus' soft eyes. He admired his beautiful features, the way he looked so soft and porcelain at this moment. His heart was beating out of his chest, he had to be alive and this was just some kind of way to make him remember everything and do the right thing but suddenly he was feeling dizzy again the room started to spin around him. He was standing still holding on to Magnus' hand for dear life. 

"Alexander, talk to me..." Magnus felt like he was losing him again as Alec just stood there with a blank, lifeless expression on his face. His strength holding him up weaking as Alec was slipping from him, literally but somehow he was finding himself needing to run away from it all. He needed to find his body and it was time. He wasn't able to find the words to say goodbye as he hoped. "Alexander?!" Magnus shouted when Alec literally started running out the door. "Where are you going? Did I say something wrong?" He shouted but he didn't even hear him he was gone already and now he just looked like a fool in front of everyone. 

"Dad, it's okay, he's going home," Olivia spoke up to her father who was staring at the door and everyone else staring at him look at the door. They barely even saw Alec leave so they were curious as to why Magnus screamed like that.

"What are you talking about?" Magnus looked down finally to look at his daughter.

"He came here to help us, save us from the mess we were in after mom left us. He was an angel, a real angel."

"Olivia, that's crap. You know that doesn't exist. If you're trying to help this isn't helping!" Magnus shouted and he rarely ever shouted at his daughter like that especially in front of people.

"But, Dad, I'm serious. Think about it. Think about everything he has done for us. How happy we finally became? How I finally got to sing again? How easy it was for him to do the things he loved? How he couldn't remember his past because his mind was slipping from him, he was sent to us to fix us before he could cross over with a good deed from the last conversation he had with Lydia..." Olivia tried to explain.

Magnus shook his head, it was so hard for him to believe this kind of thing especially when he begged for an angel to save Camille. Why now? He shook his head one more time to try and rid all the bad thoughts. "We need to save him then, we can't lose him am I right?" If Magnus was going to believe in this, he wasn't going to lose another person that meant so much to him.

"Yes, there is hope. There is still hope." Caterina had come in at just the right time knowing exactly what was happening and where Alec was going. "I'm sorry, I didn't tell you sooner, I couldn't, I wasn't allowed to. It was The Angel's orders. You didn't believe, we needed to have you believe." Caterina added with a slight smirk to her friend in complete disbelief. "I need you to think back to when I told you about your favorite patient dying, there was a reason for it, all of it ties into that, and when Dot got word of Lydia coming to tell you the truth, she stole Alec's friend's green jacket to make it look like he did the stabbing...he's upstairs at Alec's bedside and Alec's family are arriving now. They have the decision to be made...they can pull the plug...but think you can save him?" 

It made absolutely no sense to Magnus, but would he be able to save Alec? He couldn't save his patient what makes anyone think he can save Alec? "Can I?" Magnus gulped. 

"Only you will be able to make that decision, come on, let's go." Caterina leads the way...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback, thoughts, oh my gods, and: this makes no sense but i hope it does later's - are my favorite. i hope you enjoy. feel free to yell at me on twitter too @westallenkiss #LFMfic


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for all the love on this and for being confused. like i mentioned i went with the other idea i had from the other christmas movie i saw involving this and wanted to try and make it work. sorry if it's caused confusion. i hope this chapter fixes it for you.

Magnus was trying to run as fast as he could with girls behind him, but everything was happening so fast. How did Alec even get up these stairs so fast? Was he really an angel? Magnus knew he should use the elevator but he didn't trust it anymore after something terrible happened in it and that's when he started to remember what Caterina said about the old lady he was taking care of. Why was she in fact so special? He really didn't know why, she just attached herself to him and he found himself bonding with her even more so. 

_"Thank you for saving my life for a second time," She responded softly touching the young man's face. "I don't know what I'd do without you, please tell me how are your little ones? How are they dealing with Camille's death?"_

_Magnus barely ever talked to anyone about his kids and/or Camille's death let alone how his kids were dealing with it too..._

_"We're getting by, there's actually this young gentleman who came out of nowhere to help us, and if I'm really honest, he's made my girls suddenly smile." He swallowed as he spoke and looked to her softly to try and keep himself from crying._

_"No need to cry, Magnus. I promise you everything happens for a reason, I've lived to see that." She smiled weakly at him._

_Magnus nodded back with a slight whimper._

_"Magnus dear, just remember this quote my mother once told me growing up, `live for the moments you can put it words` and take each day to make it count." She added and touched his cheek._

_Magnus looked to the older lady that spoke those words to him in a little bit of shock now._

_"What is it dear? Looks like you've seen a ghost." She joked._

_"It's just that Camille always used to say that quote..." He swallowed and shook his head, it had to just be a coincidence right?_

"We made it, come on dad it's room 518!" Olivia shouted.

"518??!" Magnus panted as he reached the last step to the fifth floor, which was Camille's room, it was also the reason why he hated coming fo the fifth floor.

"I know it's surely not a coincidence now is it?" Olivia panted a little herself as they entered the room practically barging in. Magnus was instantly stopped by a lifeless Alec and his family hovering over him. They looked alike, all of them, what a beautiful family they were. There was a younger gentleman wearing the jacket in the description of who stabbed Lydia and Magnus was quick to start judging. Everything really did start to make sense. He wanted to say something but he didn't know where to start nor did he want to say something he'd regret needing answers on what exactly happened.

"You must be, Magnus. Caterina was telling us about you. We were having a hard time believing it." The younger girl spoke up for her mother. All Magnus could do was nod slowly and look again at a lifeless Alec and that other guy holding his hand. "We don't know what to do, we were told there is no sign of brain activity anymore and that it isn't fair to his heart to be holding on..." She sniffled a little.

"There has to be a brain activity...if not then I've been living a really strange dream," Magnus chuckled a bit.

_"I hear him, I hear him, he's there, he's with my family." Alec whimpered trying his hardest to wake himself up. "Why can't he see me anymore?" Alec turned to the old lady that everyone had been seeing._

_"He's not fully grasping what's been happening, also your family doesn't believe in any of this. We have tried our best." She spoke on behalf of the angels._

_"There needs to be something we can do, why is Andrew holding my hand, I bet if Magnus holds my hand I'll wake up," Alec decided and nodded firmly._

_"Alec, you need to understand that you weren't meant to fall for Magnus, we just needed you to do a good deed before crossing over, what you had done beforehand wasn't a good look for Heaven." She answered him._

_"I don't want to go to heaven, Magnus is my heaven, Magnus is where I belong." Alec insisted with such a plea in his voice. "I don't want to die." He whimpered. "I didn't realize how important the bookstore was to Lydia. My mother told me a few days before the accident that she fully intended to give it to her and Lydia was right about it being the principle of the matter. I was too stubborn for my own good, I just wanted something to make me happy, I was so miserable but then I found happiness in Magnus and his 3 girls. I never loved anything more. Sure I love to decorate for other people but it was bringing out the worst in me." Alec confessed and tried to breathe but he was starting to feel more lifeless than he already really was. "Look at me, I'm dying, I'm dying because I don't have Magnus. He needs to believe." He cried softly trying to move but he couldn't move._

_"I have a confession to make myself," The older lady who only Alec saw right now was slowly changing her appearance to a younger lady, a more beautiful lady, who now officially looked like an angel. "I've been trying to get Magnus to believe me for those 3 years that I was still around, that I became an angel but he never believed in it. He never fully ever believed because if I had died so suddenly so why wasn't an angel there to take care of me? It took me a while even in heaven to wonder why me? Why did I have to die and leave my family behind? But, God, he works in mysterious ways and now I believe in that theory even more. I was never Magnus' soulmate... _you are_." She confused Alec so much more as he suddenly realized it was her...it was Camille._

_"H-h-how do you know that? Camille?" Alec swallowed._

_"Yes, it's me. When he asked me to find someone to help bring Magnus happiness, I didn't think it would end up like this. I didn't think you'd be the one to take care of my girls. I tried with the older lady, I moved into her body at times too, which even explains how she survived the heart-attack...I even gave Magnus a speech my mom once gave me..." Camille mentioned as time was running out, she honestly didn't know what to do herself. "...all I know now is that you need to get back into your body and wake up, be with Magnus, take care of my girls for me..." She could feel actual tears wanting to stream down her face for the first time in a long time._

_"I don't want to disappoint anyone," He took a deep breath, but he couldn't even feel like he was doing anything._

_"You won't, there's a stronger bond there than I have ever seen with anyone I have ever worked with and you need to find a way..." Camille insisted._

_"I will do my best, but I can't help but feel sad that Magnus never believed you were around..." Alec frowned looking at the beautiful angel before him practically glowing now all of a sudden as if she was finally able to attend heaven herself._

_"You will when you wake up, he will finally believe." Camille whispered taking a step backward from Alec, "...live for the moments you can put into words..." She added in a whisper and she was gone._

"May I ask a question?" Magnus moved forward a bit and took Alec's other hand in his. He squeezed it and looked over at the other man, "Who are you, and did you give your jacket to a girl last night?" 

"I'm Andrew, these folks call me Underhill, I'm Alec's boyfriend." He nodded firmly, "I did give a jacket to a nice young lady because she said someone was after her and she wanted to be safe before going home, why do you ask?"

"Boyfriend?" Magnus swallowed. "He didn't tell me he had a boyfriend." 

"You never even spoken to him..." Underhill didn't know a single thing about what Alec had gone through before trying to find his way back home.

"Uh, it's complicated, nevermind that...however that lady you gave your jacket to seems to be a liar and you need to tell me where she went now that you have the jacket back..." Magnus knew that this part wasn't important and time was slipping from them but he really wanted Dot out of the picture for good.

"I don't know, some cops came in and integrated her before taking her away..." 

"Oh, oh, that's excellent news." Magnus breathed a sigh of relief and turned his attention back to Alec. "Alexander, did you hear that? Did you hear that Dot won't be bothering us anymore...it's all over...I need you to wake up now...I don't think the girls and I can go on without you." He completely changed moods from panic to a soft gentle voice that he only ever spoke to Alec in.

Andrew let go of Alec all together with the thing that Magnus said wondering if this was some kind of sick and twisted joke that was happening, "He never lets anyone call him Alexander, how did you know his name was even Alexander?" 

"Yeah, even I can't call him that and I'm his mother," Maryse finally said something as she was starting to believe that this Magnus Bane holding her son's hand was going to actually wake him up. "We don't know why he always thought we didn't care about him when we did so so much, he just let his job take over his life. He always felt like he had to make other's happy around the holidays but never for himself..." Maryse continued to speak.

"The noblest art is that of making others happy..." Magnus quoted one of his favorite quotes of all time, "In fact in that instant that was how it felt when Alec had come into our lives, he radiated happiness. I don't know if you believe me, but I swear Alec was alive and I had him checked out, it was only a minor concussion, but my daughter swears he was an angel to us an actual angel...but he had a heartbeat, he had a plus, and I could feel him...I don't understand how this kind of thing is possible." Magnus was starting to lose hope. "Maybe I was just dreaming about it." He swallowed back his tears gripping tighter onto Alec's lifeless hand.

"Don't give up, I believe you," Maryse whispered. "I believe in soulmates." 

"I already met my soulmate," Magnus murmured as looked to his daughter who standing back from it all trying so hard to keep herself from crying. 

Olivia then shook her head at her father. "As much as we love mama, she wasn't your soulmate, it was always Alec, that's why he came to us. You have to believe." She lost it and started to cry. The heart monitor on Alec started to fade, the sound of Alec starting to flatline...

Magnus shook his head back, he couldn't he just couldn't make any sense of this. "If he's my soulmate why is he being taken away from me too?" He ended up letting a sob and falling to his knees, gripping even tighter to the lifeless body that was suddenly moving before everyone's eyes. 

"Magnus," Alec spoke in a soft voice, the softest voice imaginable. 

"It's a miracle, an actual miracle." Maryse cried out as Magnus was floored jumping to his feet still holding on to Alec as he was gripping right back.

"It is a miracle if my mom is here..." Alec already had jokes of his own as he took in a deep breath and the sound of the heart monitor was beeping at a normal rate. "I...just...I had this really long dream where I was falling in love with you, and you have 3 beautiful daughters that I ended up wanting nothing more than to help, then I got trapped in my own head and I couldn't breathe, I couldn't make sense of who I was...I met an angel..."

"You were an angel, you were an angel to help us." Olivia insisted.

"I didn't believe it, or believe in any kind of angels until all of this but whatever you dreamt was all real, Alexander..." 

Alec smiled softly, "If you still don't believe, I was told to tell you something," He whispered beckoning for Magnus to come closer to him, " _Live for the moments you can put into words..._

"How did you, when did you, where did you..." Magnus shook his head in disbelief, that wasn't an ordinary kind of quote and now he heard it twice, and then he was remembering what Caterina said right before he came up here what he had to remember...

"Camille, she was the one that told it to my favorite patient wasn't she?" Magnus asked still shaking his head slightly.

"She was the sole reason why you and her bonded in the first place, she was also the one who told me that you might have loved each other that much but I'm your soulmate..." Alec shook his head a bit in his own disbelief. "I swear to hell, I'm dreaming...."

Magnus closed his eyes and tried to wake himself up but when he opened them back up, Alec was still holding his hand. "It's no dream and all we can say now is that thank you for being the one to wake up our son, we just want him to come home and find peace within himself before making others happy." Maryse decided with a warm smile and giving her son a small kiss on his forehead. 

Alec smiled and nodded and looked over to the one person he forgot about for the longest time, "I'm sorry, Andrew. I always knew I needed to find the one, and I was ready and willing to try with you but even while I was in the dream I was having dreams that I wasn't happy with you. Thank you though for always being there for me when I needed, you are and always will be a great friend to me." Somehow Alec knew he was the only one concerned about him, and maybe it was some kind of six sense now that he had this kind of experience. "I also know I need to fire Jace...wherever the hell he is..." He joked.

"That you do and maybe you can let me work for you instead, it's the 'least you could do." Underhill winked and winked at Magnus too.

Magnus didn't like that at all but he didn't say anything mostly knowing he had Alec and he didn't. "I'd like that," Alec smiled softly and turned his head to look back at his soulmate, "Where does this leave us though?" He breathed in remembering every single moment he had with him and how now it only felt like a dream.

"I think my ex-wife said it best, we need to live for the moments we can put into words..." Magnus answered.

Alec breathed in, every moment with Magnus felt like he was soaring, like it was meant to be like he was his soulmate, and now he knew that fate and destiny did co-exist but there was still one thing lingering in the air that needed to be done...

Magnus' phone was now ringing of course. "Hello? Ragnor, slow down, please, wait what? You are kidding me, how? ...she ran away...how did she run away...that's insane...she's just a girl...well I'm surprised...actually I'm not surprised...she always been so mysterious so weird...she's probably on her way back to the hospital...well you better get her before she comes up here..." Magnus hung up and looked at everyone staring at him, "Uh, well the cops just said that Dot somehow escaped the police escort to jail, grabbed a gun and heading back here..."

TBC...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if it's all still very confusing!! but the love is amazing, so i really hope you enjoy this chapter. there will be one more chapter after it that will be a really nice surprise i hope! right now enjoy this chapter with one more little twist to a happy ending.

It really did happen all too fast. Magnus couldn't didn't even have a say in what was happening. The doctor called Alec's recovery a miracle but the doctor that was handling him was one of Magnus' enemies. Also, another reason why he avoided this floor. He suggested it was best for Alec to go home and relax and stay away from anything that would make his blood pressure rise and that also anything could trigger him to go into shock from the accident with how badly he actually did hit his head. Magnus tried to fight for it but he also couldn't do that and take him away from his family.

They captured Dot before entering the hospital, took her right upstairs to the wards to keep her from doing any kind of harm to anyone even herself. She really did need help and it wasn't the nice kind. All of that made Maryse worrisome herself and knew she needed to keep Alec away from Magnus if had friends like that. Alec didn't speak up in any of this either because his mind became some kind of whirlwind and he just wanted to go back to sleep, he actually thought if he did fall back to sleep he'd be back where he was and this was all one hell of a dream. Magnus was trying to observe Alec and could see just how scared he was about everything and realized that maybe he should let him go back home and if all this true he could maybe come back to him in the future.

Magnus wanted to properly say goodbye but he got taken away with his daughters for questioning about Dot. He thought it would just be a few minutes but it took longer than he even intended too and as he was getting questioned, the doctor he disliked strongly was already having Alec leave to go back home with his family to rest and enjoy Christmas together. He didn't tell Magnus, not that he thought he had to but also because he felt like it was the right thing to do with Alec being home with family. 

\--

"...I'm not going to go to the city to look for him, he needs to be home with his family." Magnus tried to hold it together at his daughter's plea. 

"We're his family, we became his family. It was what he wanted." Olivia insisted with a sincere beg in her voice. 

"I can't believe he matters that much to you," Magnus felt kind of really undecided right now. He didn't believe it again because all of it just seemed like his own head was messing with him. 

"Because I know how much it matters to you and how horrible of job you are doing of trying to hide it," Olivia answered him getting out of the car and slamming the door hard before she ran to the door.

"Olivia Lauren Bane, how dare you slam the car door like that! You could have woken up the twins." He reached into the back to grab them over his shoulders, it didn't really matter at this point, they just went with it and stayed asleep, they always did.

"I bet you wish you had Alexander to help you." She folded her arms across her chest waiting for him to get to the door too so she could grab the keys from his pocket and open the door for them.

"Stop that, stop being so horrible." Magnus scolded and pushed past her so he could set the twins down in their bed.

Olivia had her hands folded against her chest again glaring at her father when he was coming back into the living room. "I just don't understand why all of a sudden you don't care about him." 

"I do, Olivia. I really do, but he didn't look like he cared and decided to go with his family. He didn't seem to want to fight for it. He also might have just wanted to fulfill his duty to live or something like that...like whatever the angels told him yada yada, all of it sounds like BS." He walked around in circles, none of this was making any sense again. He felt so betrayed.

"I didn't see it like that, he just listened to what he was told, he kept looking at you waiting for you to fight for him, but nooooo, you stupid there like an idiot because you don't believe!!! You never did." Olivia threw her hands up. 

"Of course I don't believe, why did they take her away from us then? Why did she have to die? Why did they decide to make us happy with Alexander for him to only be taken from us too? Why did Dot get in the way and make all of this worse...why didn't they stop her!!" Magnus shouted back at his daughter as if she could actually answer him. It was too much for him.

"There are things even the angels can't control! They did their best. They brought us Alexander so you could move on from mom, and as much as I love mom and as much as I miss her, I know this is her plan for you." Olivia just believed so much in this and really wanted her dad to see it too.

Magnus shook his head and started to cry, "Go to your room,"

"But dad," Olivia whimpered.

"I said go to your room," Magnus demanded and turned himself away from her to completely break down not wanting her to see any of it.

Olivia swallowed and did as he pleased. She wanted to cry so hard but she was keeping herself together through her faith. She strongly believed that this could all be fixed. She took a seat down on her bed when her room was suddenly getting brighter without the light even being turned on. It was just about to turn midnight as she glanced at the clock and the light shined directly on her. She squinted and whimpered when an angel was appearing right before her, her eyes adjusting and realizing it was her mother, "M-mom-mommy..." Her body froze and tears streamed down her face instantly. "It's really you. But why now, how, what's going on...what took so long..."

"My sweet Olivia," Camille whispered. "You've matured into such a beautiful young lady, and you've been taking care of your father for me for so long, you held it together for your sisters and him for the longest time. You put all of the pressure on yourself and you always believed that God had a plan and everything does happen for a reason." She continued reaching to touch her daughter's face. "And it's true, baby, it's all true. He does what he has to and it's what makes us who we are. We all have a design, a plan, and a job, and my job was to die the way I did and become an angel to watch over you. I was always here, my love, always. But you did such a good job on your own and you never asked for my help...you took it upon yourself with your faith to be such a strong young woman." She added wiping Olivia's tears away as she was continuing to whimper trying her hardest to just listen to her mom's voice, she couldn't even speak up but yet somehow she knew what she was thinking, "I love your father, I loved him through the disagreements, through the fights, through it all, I loved him even when he thought I was ridiculous enough to accept my cancer as is. He is also very stubborn, he doesn't believe in any of this and when I realized how miserable he was, it was the angels that allowed us to bring Alexander into your lives to help you, even _HE_..." Camille pointed up talking about God, "...couldn't believe what he saw happen right before us, it turns out Alexander is your father's soulmate, and he will come back, you just have to have faith and your father has to start believing..." 

"But how, how did I get dad to believe?" Olivia gasped for a bit of air when she spoke out loud. Her mother was so beautiful before her just like she remembered. 

"Everything happens for a reason, my dear Olivia," Camille answered. "I love you, sweetheart, remember, live for the moments you can put into words."

"Mom, what does that even mean?!" Olivia shouted, she wanted Magnus to hear her loud and clear that she was in fact talking to her.

"There are some things that just have to happen on their own." She whispered to her fading away now.

"No, mom, please don't go, mom, mom, mom, please..." Olivia was in hysterics again her mother no longer in her site and the room was pitch black. She fell down against the bed in an uncontrollable sob just like the night she found out she left the world...

\--

"Hello everyone, Alec Lightwood here...it's been a while huh? Maybe only a few days compared to my everyday blog to let you know what I've been up to...well yeah, I don't think I'll be telling anyone that. In fact, this isn't good news but it also isn't exactly a goodbye. It's just that when I put my life on hold for these few days I discovered something about myself...I'm not happy. I'm happy making others happy but within myself, I'm not happy. Something is missing, something was always missing and I think while I was gone those few days I found it...well I mean...I found him. I found my soulmate. I discovered who I was during the time I was away getting it to spend with him and his two daughters. I could go on and describe every single feeling I felt when I was around them to prove to you that he is my soulmate but I won't do that. Maybe in the future, maybe when I wake up from his godforsaken dream that I'm in, or maybe this life is just my practice and real-life is up there, whatever it may be or wherever I am in fact supposed to be...besides being a poet and I don't know it...it's time for me to take even more time away from the internet and interior design and blogging altogether for before I know exactly where I am supposed to be. I do hope all of this makes any sense and you will all be here when I come back. I'm sorry if my step-brother fucked up any of your houses or did anything wrong, I will properly reimburse you in any way that I can. Merry Christmas Eve everyone, may your Christmas be happy and filled with love and spent with your loved ones and families on this special holiday. It's all about love and cherishing what you have. Please take care, thank you for your time. I hope my DIYs have filled you with joy as well and until the next one... this is Alec Lightwood signing off..." Alec pressed upload onto his YouTube channel and closed his laptop for as long as it may be needed.

"That was such a beautiful speech, Alec..." Izzy whispered catching Alec off guard however as he jumped a little. "Easy there, big bro."

"Sorry, just...I didn't know anyone was here." He swallowed with a soft sigh.

"So, soulmate huh? You barely know him?" Izzy inquired with a brow raise.

"I might not but I was told that he was and I strongly believe in it," Alec answered with another soft breath of air.

"I'm not an expert in this, but if he is, why are you here and not trying to find him?" She asked curiously.

"I've been asking myself the same thing, but somehow I couldn't speak back there in the hospital and when Magnus wasn't saying anything back, I just, I listened to the doctors and mom insisted I come home to be with you guys on the holiday..." Trying not to sigh again Alec fell back a bit against his chair and folded his arms across his chest.

"I think you need to do what's in your heart and go see him, find him, be with him, tell him _everything_..." Izzy insisted as she was trying to pull him out of the chair. "Mom can seriously like wait, and it's not like upstate is too far from the suburbs...like we can always visit if we want to." She added having him stand up and tower over her as she reached to give him a soft hug. 

"You're right," Alec breathed giving her tight hug back resting his chin on his sister's head. He really missed her and knew if she wanted to visit at any time she would and could but could he in fact just go to Magnus' place and expect him to just take him back like that and let him even live with him? "But what if..."

"Nope!" Izzy cut Alec off, "There is no what if...there is just GO AND GET YOUR MAN!" She shouted glaring up at him and giving him a small shove. "I'm serious Alec, you really think he's going to turn you away...GO GO GO...I'll tell the family where you are off to..."

"Thanks, Iz." Alec hugged her one last time before knowing where he had to go and fast but he did need to take his time too. He didn't want to get into an accident and he wanted to just prepare himself for this because he wanted Magnus to know just how sorry he ever decided to come home when he was his _home_ and he also really hoped that he wouldn't mind being bothered on Christmas morning. He really had no idea about anything other than this was calling him, this was what he was supposed to be doing...

\--

Christmas Eve to Magnus was a bit of a blur, he tried so hard to make it special without Alec. The twins didn't want to do anything without Alec either and Olivia couldn't hold it together like she normally was during the holiday for everyone. She kept thinking if her mother was right and Alec would come back. She also hated how angels in general couldn't give out details like it was supposed to make you question if you were dreaming or not. And she was beginning to think she was dreaming last night and maybe they didn't exist. 

"Did we lose Alexander too?" Madelynn asked her father as they were cuddling on the couch trying to watch a funny Christmas movie to lighten the mood just a little bit until Midnight where they could open up their matching Christmas pajamas and go to bed for the morning.

"No, we didn't lose him, he just chose a different life," Olivia answered her sister a bit sarcastically.

"Momma did that too, that's not fair. I thought Alexander was different." Madzie ended up pouting.

"He promised he'd be back," Madelynn added. "I don't remember momma promising, but she's always with us." 

Magnus swallowed, "What do you mean, Made?"

"Momma visits me sometimes, tucks me in when I cry or when I'm really sad and miss her because I don't remember her as Olivia can." She answered and looked to her twin sister who was making a wide-eyed face and putting her finger to her lips. "Oh oops, momma said I shouldn't tell you that because you don't believe," 

"Madelynn, Madzie...why didn't you ever mention this before?" Olivia shouted and looked to her father so worried that he might think his twin daughters were crazy and would need to be evaluated or something.

"Because momma said so, she said that daddy wouldn't believe but she said one day he will, he just needs to find his faith...I don't know what that means...but I am starting to think that Alexander was part of it." Madelynn answered.

"Yeah, Made and I believe that now, we talked about it," Madzie added with confidence.

Magnus took a deep breath and whimpered, his body trembling as he truly could not believe what he was hearing. He never ever believed in any of this and because he didn't believe Camille couldn't contact him. She had to find another way and in the process of that, she gave him his actual soulmate. "Your mother is something else, I'll tell you that." Magnus shook his head.

"Does this mean you believe?" Olivia asked her own voice shaking a bit.

"I'm not sure, I just think it's a little crazy..." Magnus laughed a little wiping a few tears from his face. 

"Don't cry, daddy, we just need our Christmas miracle." Madelynn sat up and kissed her father's cheek. 

Madzie came around and kissed the other cheek. "We still love you, don't worry." 

"Hey! It's midnight! You know what that means!" Olivia was quick to change the subject to try and make Christmas come faster because maybe she felt like a miracle could happen.

"Matching pajama gifts time!!!" The twins shouted and ran to get their presents.

"There is one for Alexander too." Madzie pouted.

"Maybe he'll come over tomorrow to pick it up, then we can offer him to cook dinner for us just like he used to, maybe he will stay and sing Christmas songs with us around the tree and we can watch It's A Wonderful Life again just like always," Madelynn added with such faith in her heart that all Magnus could do was continue to nod and actually want to believe his kids. Olivia couldn't believe what her younger sisters were saying and just how much they were saying and it was cracking her father in the best way possible. She did what she had to do and get them ready for bed in their matching pajamas and it was what Madzie added as the last statement that made Magnus break down completely...

"Dadda, if you can talk to Santa very last minute, can you tell him that I don't want anything else or need anything else on my list, can you just ask him to bring Alexander back?" She looked up innocently waiting to be picked up.

Magnus did so squeezing her tightly with tears welled up in his eyes, "If you believe, anything is possible, Madz." He kissed her forehead and set her down and reached to pick up Madelynn. "What would you like Made? Do you want the same thing?" He asked through his tears of happiness mixed with a lot of emotional sadness.

"I would like for you to be happy tomorrow when we open our presents." She kissed her dad's cheek one more time and let herself down to follow her sisters to bed.

Olivia looked back at her dad with a simple shrug. Magnus glared with a soft laugh, he really had no idea what was happening but suddenly he felt it in his heart to believe. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to be believing in but his daughters would lie to him like that and it sounded so typical of Camille to keep herself as an angel a secret from him because of his non-beliefs. He wondered if he started to believe it would all finally make complete sense to him.

Christmas morning couldn't come sooner...


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for the encouragement and enjoying what i have written. i am also really glad you don't hate me for having camille be the good one for once. i do like to change things up and i thought why not. i always did want to write something with her encouraging malec instead of trying to break it up so here we are as well. i hope you enjoy this chapter and note that the next one will be the last! <3

It was a little too quiet and the voices inside Magnus' head were loud. For the longest time he didn't believe in anything even when he was little he barely believed in Santa because growing up it was hard for his parents to give gifts from both so at a young age he learned quickly. Maybe Santa Claus didn't exist but angels definitely did. But if angels did exist why couldn't they save Camille? He had a million and one thoughts with very few answers to it all. He was trying his best to fall asleep and forget and just wake up to a Christmas miracle when he figured maybe he should just head into his own bed where he'd feel more comfortable but every time he laid in bed the thought of Alec not there to lay with him and just hold him made him feel even more upset - especially at himself for wanting so badly to be with someone he barely knew - was he betraying Camille or was it time to move on? 

The small walk to his bedroom wasn't far but with all of the new thoughts in his head and trying so hard to now believe - he could have sworn he was dreaming as he noticed someone standing at the Christmas tree. There was a radiating light surrounding the person that he could barely make it out and now he knew for sure he was dreaming as he started to get closer to see exactly what this was. He definitely had to be dreaming and knows he doesn't remember falling asleep when he realizes it's Camille. It's really her! 

"Camille?" Magnus spoke out loud, he figured he might as well let the dream answer all his questions.

"Oh heavens, you weren't supposed to see me...I thought you didn't believe enough..." Camille was quick to turn around and step out of the light as it still lingered around her to view her once husband. 

"What? What do you mean?" Magnus stuttered a little scratching the back of his head.

"I was putting a present underneath the tree for the girls, I wanted them to know that I still exist and I am still watching over them but my job - it's been done, you've found Alec." Camille answered him softly.

"Alexander isn't coming back," Magnus stated. "I don't see why he would want to. I know the girls want some kind of miracle but he isn't going to just show up at our doorstep." Magnus might have believed in angels now but it still seemed impossible for Alec to just show up. "I really need to wake up and get off this dream," Magnus growled at himself.

Camille shook her head laughing softly at the man she was very much still in love with and would always love him. "My dear Magnus, you aren't dreaming. It's safe to say you finally believe that I am in fact an angel who has been watching over our girls when I can. I have other duties to take care of as well, especially helping those cross over. When it came to Alec, he was in a coma, and just before his crash...if he wanted to go to heaven he had to find in his heart to help someone and I wasn't apart of this until I realized they had sent him to you." She mentioned trying to finally explain even if she wasn't supposed to give all the details as to why it was supposed to happen like this.

"Stop, who is they?" Magnus raised an eyebrow with a small swallow. 

"The other angels, we all have obligations to help others. Alec was sent to you to help you and the girls this holiday season, just to bring you joy and happiness that someone else was around for the girls so they could just make things brighter. I couldn't personally do it myself, you understand what I'm saying now?" Camille questioned in her soft voice as Magnus was drawing himself closer to her. "It just so happens that he is your soulmate and not even any of the angels intended that," She was slowly starting to fade from Magnus' view now that she said too much - more than she was supposed to.

"Don't leave, please. This is all too...too...I don't even know, I mean how is he my soulmate if he's already gone?" Magnus whimpered reaching out to touch her but he couldn't. "Aren't you supposed to be my soulmate?" 

Camille shook her head, a few tears slipping from her face. She forgot what it was like to cry, only Magnus was able to do that with the way he loved her. "I know you love me, I know you always will, but you feel so strongly about Alec, you did the moment he walked into your life and I mean that quite literally. I cannot say anything more, but when you do end up going to sleep tonight, you'll remember exactly what I mean. I'll make sure." Camille answered him as Magnus was so quick to reach out and touch her face to wipe her tears. It actually worked and the two of them started smiling at each other at all the memories that they had together. "I promise, I'll always be in here, but, he's the one for you," Camille whispered one last time as she faded right before Magnus could say goodbye. "Oh yeah, don't peek under the tree until Christmas morning." Her voice lingered and Magnus was completely dumbfounded trying to pinch himself to try and wake up but that still wasn't working. So did this mean he actually believed and it wasn't just the thoughts in his head...he shook his head again in disbelief and saw the random box under the tree that he definitely didn't put there. 

And now he was supposed to remember something that he no idea what Camille was even talking about. Did he know Alec previous to the car crash? "Walked into my life and I mean that literally." He repeated what Camille said out loud trying to ponder it. He couldn't. Did he block it out? Magnus was pacing around his bed trying to remember, and as the clock was changing directly to 3 am in the morning out of nowhere Magnus started to remember. He swallowed again, laying himself down and his eyes closed.

_"Ugh, I hate Valentine's Day, I love my wife every single day of the year and tell her that every single day - I don't need this holiday to remind her." Magnus scoffed at the drug store in town where he was picking up her medicine._

_"There is no harm in creating something from the heart on Valentine's Day just to let her know you are thinking about her," Alec said to Magnus without introducing himself, he just couldn't help but overhear Magnus ranting to the pharmacist. He wasn't even supposed to be here, he was just getting something from the bookstore that he couldn't wait to own someday._

_The two of them didn't make eye contact just yet until Alec set something on the counter, "I have a YouTube channel that gives you DIYs from the heart."_

_Magnus laughed a little, "I don't do that kind of stuff," He glanced up once receiving Camille's medicine and taking one of the balloons for her to find the very handsome person that Alec was without knowing his name._

_Alec was a little floored at how beautiful Magnus was himself, not too happy at him though for completely avoiding his business card and that he was just getting a balloon for his wife instead of a DIY from him but he shrugged not everyone was into it and that was completely fine. So he nodded and gave Magnus a half-smirk and let him brush past him..._

Magnus jumped out from the bed, the clock flashing 3:15. "No fucking way, there's no way. I would have remembered him..." He hit the side of his head hating himself. He remembered going home that night and even telling Camille how a handsome young fella told him that he should DIY something for her for Valentine's Day. But Camille just laughed and enjoyed her balloon very much so...even promising to him that if she died before Valentine's Day to go and find him. "It was if she knew..." Magnus groaned and fell back down in the bed, now he was wide awake again and couldn't believe this insanity. "Why would Alexander even want to be my soulmate in the first place?" He whimpered out loud to himself. "That smirk though, that smirk sent me soaring...I didn't tell Camille that." He continued to speak out loud to himself. "Oh, dear," He almost laughed out loud.

\---

Alec was on the bus to get himself upstate, still about 2 hours away from the second bus stop and then he would have to take an Uber to Magnus' house and he was fine with that, he was just glad he wasn't driving. He didn't want to drive just yet and he wanted to be as safe as he could with his head remembering anything could upset him and he could go into shock or something so he just stayed wide awake on the bus replaying scenarios in his head on how it would go with Magnus. Would he except him? Would he still want him around? He too had a million and one questions just lingering around in his head on what exactly did happen these past few days and how real it all was and how physically touching someone never meant so much to him. He could still feel Magnus wrapped around him right this second. He could still feel Magnus looking at him the way he did as if just saw stars in his eyes and he did, he very much did and so did Alec in Magnus' eyes...he just saw his future and it was where he was meant to be. It was where he ended up and he wasn't going to let anything get in his way. 

There was a moment where Alec was finally finding himself dozing off when one of the angels came to him giving him a message to remind him that his thoughts were still 100% correct and Magnus was his soulmate indeed. His eyes opened quickly, "It was you! You didn't take my YouTube business card! How dare you!" He shouted out loud in his head and made sure that no one else heard him. "Damn," He said softly making a face to himself. Thankfully everyone was pretty much asleep on the bus as he quickly dug for his laptop in his bag and took it out to connect to the slow bus wifi nonetheless but still needed to check something. He searched his channel for one of his videos that he definitely remembered uploading on Valentine's Day 3 years ago. He put in his headphones and pressed play. 

_"Alec here, I hope everyone sees this before they go and spend some time with their loved ones on this special day for lovers. It has come to my attention that today isn't for anyone, hell it isn't even for me. I'm single and very much hate this holiday too but it doesn't always have to be about a significant other. It could just be for a friend. You can make a friend happy and you'll feel just as happy. I'm always happy when other's are happy. I think one day that might bite me in the ass but my point is just to give. Giving makes you feel so good am I right? It also has to come from the heart. I actually kind of met this guy today, gorgeous as ever, totally dissing the holiday while he was picking up some medicine. He was ranting about he loves his wife every single day and lets her know every single day just how much he loves her that he doesn't need this stupid holiday well he's correct but something from the heart on today would have made her even happier than I am sure she already is. Am I right? It didn't really bother me too much but I did mention it and he did get a little bit snippy with me but in a sense, I could feel his sadness in general...and that's definitely not my place to say...I don't think I'll ever forget that soft smile he did give me just before leaving. I do hope that I did put a little idea in his head as he did leave with a balloon. Either way, I guess that's it from me, I'd like to know your opinions and things on this matter, leave a comment down below...how do you celebrate Valentine's Day? Now let's get into these little DIY hearts that you can make from scratch..."_

Alec laughed listening to himself rant as he did. He also couldn't believe that he and Magnus did actually meet 3 years ago before he had lost Camille and now he wondered if the angels really did have a plan for him even if they say it was unintentional, but how does one even find their soulmate in the first place? Upon closing his laptop he put on some music and peacefully let his mind wander some more while he was almost there, hoping he'd arrive by at least 9 am...

\---

Magnus woke up to his twin daughter's bouncing on his bed and Olivia coming in to watch them, "It's Christmas, it's Christmas!!" They continued to shake him to officially get him. Magnus laughed sitting up and grabbing his daughters in for a big hug. "I'm so glad I finally did fall asleep to be woken by my girls." 

"I was gonna tell them to wait, I did overhear you talking to yourself in the middle of the night," Olivia smirked.

"Were you talking to Santa?" Madelynn asked curiously.

"Actually, after I put out your presents I went to go to sleep but I saw momma, she told me she has a surprise for us. I'm not sure if I was dreaming or not either." Magnus mentioned with a slight shrug to Olivia trying his hardest to keep it together for his daughters.

"Really?!" Both of the twins shouting in question and just running over to the tree. There so many presents underneath and not just the one that Magnus saw when Camille had left. They had quite a few each.

Magnus slipped into his slippers and moved into the living room noticing all of the presents that he definitely didn't put there either.

"You really went all out dad, you didn't have to...how did you hide them all so good from us?" Olivia raised an eyebrow when Magnus took a seat down staring at all of the presents that were definitely not there when he went to bed.

"I uh...I swear I didn't do it. I just put what you girls had asked for and what I was able to get, this is definitely not from me." He answered shaking his head.

"That's because they're from Santa," Madzie shouted excitedly.

"Well, go ahead and start opening!" Magnus encouraged wondering what the gifts were because he didn't know. But it was literally everything they asked for and more and Olivia knew that Magnus couldn't exactly afford all that so it had to be some kind of miracle like they said they hoped they were going to get. 

"I love everything but I only asked for Santa to bring us Alexander and he didn't do it." Madelynn pouted crawling up to her dad leaving her mess of presents on the floor.

"I'm sorry, I tried. I didn't know how to, but isn't it nice that he left all of this?" Magnus tried to cheer her up and know that something was definitely up with the angels delivering all of this. Or was it his friends just trying to help out and he was just dreaming the part where he talked to Camille. "Hey, isn't there one gift left? Right there...it's from mommy, she said we should all open it together." 

Madzie brought the present over to her father on the couch, sitting on the opposite of where Madelynn was buried. Olivia sat Indian style on the floor looking up. "Wait! Alexander told me he put something special on the tree just before we left for the party." Olivia suddenly remembered and reached over for the ornament hanging on the bottom. It was a little homemade angel that he bought at the shop when he had gone with Magnus. "He said it was just like the one that he made with his mother when he was little. It was one of his first memories and of course, it has to do with angels." Olivia handed it to her father. "It's even got his name on it, I think he purposely left it for you." She smiled softly. 

Magnus took a deep breath and held the ornament close to his heart for a moment as he was allowing Madzie and Madelynn to open the gift that Camille had left behind. Once it was open it was already glowing. It was a beautiful snow globe and inside was their house and when you shook it, it started to snow. Dangling from the top of the snow globe was an angel. "Look that's momma...she's watching over us," Madelynn murmured a little with tears streaming down her face. Madzie took the snow globe and shook it as it started to glow and the angel started to move around the snow globe. 

"Dad, there's a note...it fell out of the box," Olivia pointed out looking down to read it, "My dearest husband, and beautiful girls, I've done my best and all that I can do for you. I am always in your hearts and I'll always be there when you need me. I know it's hard and I know it's hard for some people to believe in miracles, but they do happen and there is a reason for everything that has happened...I hope your father will receive the miracle he needs, just reminds him all he has to do is look into the snow globe and he will believe. I am always here, just don't stop believing, love Momma." Looking up with tears in her eyes Magnus was staring at the snow globe just like he was told to do so and he was believing in everything. Suddenly all of it just started to fall into place. People come into your life for a reason. Camille had her purpose and her reason and she accepted what happened because she knew she could be an angel always watch over her girls, and although she kept saying bringing Alec to them was unintentional he still felt like she kind of sort of had something to do with it. 

Gently Magnus shook the snow globe one more time as it started to glow even brighter. There was then a really loud car door slam outside and the doorbell ringing. Magnus looked up from the snow globe and at his girls who were all staring at him because of how bright the snow globe was in his hands. Magnus got up from the couch almost instantly without even saying a word. Olivia grabbed her sisters and waited, the moment was about to happen, and Alec was going to be at the door. She wanted to her father answer it and may they finally share a kiss before anything else...

Magnus slowly opened the door to in fact find his soulmate standing there, his cheeks were rosy, his hair was perfectly aligned against his forehead. His half-smirk appearing instantly at how freakin' adorable Magnus looked in pajamas. "Wow," Alec uttered. 

"Wow?" Magnus blinked. "What are you doing here? I mean how did you get here? I mean..." He lost himself when Alec smirked at him like that, just how in love he was with this person already and how he knew everything happened for a reason, he just lost it all knowing that he literally showed up like it was a Christmas miracle.

"Well, it all started with my sister telling me that if I didn't get my butt out here and screw the 'what ifs' like 'what if' you reject me... then I took a bus, two busses actually, an Uber and uh now I am here feeling silly..." 

Magnus laughed, he couldn't help it. He was definitely infatuated with this man standing at his door and he couldn't believe that he was here, it actually was a Christmas miracle, everything he never believed in had finally had him believing. "You are silly, but you are also my soulmate and it's finally registering that you are and I admit I'm scared just a little bit but when I was with you I felt something I'd never felt with..." He trailed off, he didn't want to say her name, he knew that this is what she wanted for him and she was always going to be with him but he knows now that his soulmate is Alec.

There wasn't anything left for Alec to say, he just knew what he needed to do, what he had to do too. He never did anything like this before, was never physically with anyone before, and he was all in with Magnus. His body doing what his heart told his mind to do as he took an entire step forward cupping Magnus' cheeks in his hands and kissed him. Not any ordinary kind of kiss either, it was instantaneously filled with love and longing. The kiss felt like they were supposed to be doing this entire time and when their lips started to move together to capture each other's it felt like they'd been doing it all of their lives. It felt reminiscent to Magnus' not because Alec's lips were familiar, but because of the gentle innocence of his touch that had run across his skin. It sent shivers up Magnus' arms and down his spine. It caused palpitations in his chest, and then it blushed across his face radiating against Alec's palms still cupping his face. It was a feeling Magnus thought had been long gone with his first love...Alec reminded him that he can fall once again. Love does not remain dormant forever- but wakes with the right soul. Their lips were starting to learn each other's every move with every stroke of their tongues - and at that moment, all they wanted was to be fluent for each other and never kiss another soul ever again. And when they were slowly parting, they were softly giggling from how perfect it really was. "Magnus, I...I love you," Alec swallowed tasting Magnus, tasting all of him as he couldn't help himself, and went for more still standing in the doorway. 

Magnus kissed back again until he couldn't breathe. "I could fall in love with you over and over again if you keep that up..." He panted licking his lips and tasting his soulmate on them and he felt what Alec felt and needed and he went right back for more himself, tilting his head for even further physical contact and taking a hold of his waist to keep a hold on him as he whimpered into his mouth when he wasn't able to breathe again. 

Alec giggled just a little bit, "I have to say we didn't need a mistletoe to kiss each other either," He pushed Magnus a little bit further inside, "Also, I was wondering if this means I'm allowed inside?" 

Magnus blushed with a slight laugh himself making a little face at Alec as he reached for his hand to take into his, "Well duh, I hope you are here to stay..." He finally showed off Alec who emerged inside with a great big smile to find the girls right there staring at him as if he wasn't real for a second.

"ALEXANDER!!!!" The twins shouted in union finally and ran over to him excitedly. "We wished for you to come here, we didn't think you would, we even told daddy to tell Santa that's all we wanted." 

"Oh really?" Alec raised an eyebrow at the both of them. "I missed you girls so much," He couldn't keep it together, they truly accepted him and wanted him around.

Olivia took her own step forward and reached to wrap her arms around Alec as well, "Thank you for coming _home_...I know you belong here, I know everything." She gave him a little _I see you_ gesture and laughed with him trying to get him to not cry. 

"I've missed you so much too even it's only been one day, but you made us so happy," Madelynn spoke up.

"We even got you matching pajamas because we thought you'd celebrate with us!" Madzie was escaping his arms to run and get them for him. "You have to match now that you're here." She handed them off to him. 

Alec laughed and nodded. "It'll be my pleasure," He ran off like a little kid to go and change. Magnus watched him and couldn't help but sigh happily so madly in love with him and everything he did and how he did it and the pure fact that his daughter's absolutely adored him too sent him soaring. Alec re-emerged as quickly as he could in his matching pajamas with the rest of the gang, "Ta-da, what do you think?" He spun around and looked to Magnus with a soft blush. 

"You look adorable." Magnus snickered and reached to place a soft kiss on his cheek and took his hand back into his, "You look beautiful." He added against his ear in a soft whisper. Alec shivered a little bit and looked to Magnus in the same pajamas that he didn't even realize he answered the door in them and he just ended up laughing.

"What's so funny?" Magnus raised his eyebrow tugging Alec to the couch with his family. 

"Oh nothing, I just realized that I kissed you in pajamas..." Alec shrugged and sat himself down bringing Magnus close to him and the girls on the other side of him.

"Why is it so funny?" Magnus was still curious.

"It isn't, it's just I didn't even notice, I just noticed how beautiful you were and how much I knew I belonged the second you opened the door and I'm just so happy...and then to be here with the girls - as if I never left sitting on this couch with you knowing that I don't have to leave tomorrow...I just..." Alec started to tear up again. "Let's just watch the movie, I think know what you're going to put in..."

"It's A Wonderful Life, and what a wonderful life it is." Olivia smiled pressing play and getting cozy with her family. "You're apart of us Alexander, thank you again for coming back." She smiled softly.

"Thank you for listening to our wishes," Madzie added.

"Thank you for making my dad so happy," Madelynn added.

Alec sniffled with a soft _you're welcome_ before wiping his nose a little.

"My turn," Magnus poked Alec's side a little, "Thank you for coming into my life when you did, Alexander, and I know you know what day I'm talking about. How could I forgot a face like yours I'll ever know, but I guess I didn't realize your true beauty until you came into my life the way you did...you have awoken my soul up and made me believe, 100% believe that it's all real. I couldn't have dreamed this up if I tried. I am truly thankful that the angels brought you to me and allowed me to move on from my heartbreak, I believe in falling in love with the soul first, and to know that mine has always loved yours is a blessing...a real true blessing." Magnus sniffled only a little and wiped his face against Alec's shoulder with a little kiss to his jaw afterward.

Alec squeaked just a little bit, his mind mouth opening to say something but instead, he sighed contently. "Wow, do you realize how incredible you are? And I can say the same about you and about the girls and all that you've done for me without you guys even knowing. You just unlocked everything I ever needed and they all said...the angels...I mean...they all said that I was supposed to do this to cross over but with a miracle, I was able to come because of you finally believe in it all. The last thing I heard before I woke up was 'live for the moments you can put into words' and when I woke up I knew that - that was exactly what I was doing living for you and every single moment felt like a dream come true. All of the moments with you are all moments that I want to write an entire book on," Alec stopped himself and hid a little bit against Magnus. 

Olivia was starting to tear up again from the beautiful speeches she just heard and could hear her mother in her head saying those exact words and know she truly knew what it meant. It was meant for Magnus and Alec on this Christmas morning. She smiled before turning her head back to watch her favorite movie and everyone else just went ahead did the same. 

"Don't forget after the movie you have to cook for us, pleeeaaaaase." Madzie was kind of getting bored of the movie already, still trying to actually understand it more.

"Oh is that so, is that why you only want me around?" Alec joked with her. 

"I mean you do cook really well and our dad always burned things." Madzie shrugged.

Magnus scoffed, "I do not burn things."

"Yeah you do, dad," Olivia added with a slight laugh.

"Sorry then Alexander, I guess the only reason why you are is in fact to cook for us." Magnus joked with a simple shrug and half-ass smirk.

"You're all just very lucky that I love to cook in fact I already had planned to cook for y'all..." He gave a wink as he got himself up. "You know what let me get started on it now while you guys finish the movie, I promise to listen while I cook, the ending is literally my favorite part." He reminded them and got right to it. Magnus watched him walk away into the kitchen and again just got that feeling in his heart as it was dropping to his stomach that this person was his literal soulmate. Olivia caught her father staring seeing the happiness in his eyes as he watched Alec walk away. She looked up and thanked her lucky stars that her father was finally happy again and could say that actual miracles do happen and although it's a struggle if you don't believe it takes an angel to awaken her family and truly live for those moments you can put into words...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be a nice little surprise. i am already writing it and decided to let yall enjoy this one before i send you into the surprise epilogue as i am going to call it. it'll be one year later ;) love yall. don't forget to @ me on twitter #LFMfic @westallenkiss


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> truly from the bottom my heart, thank you so much for reading this and taking the journey with me. i have a really strong love for angels and fics like this so I am so glad I got to incorporate it into this. i am also so grateful that with the help of a reader i was able to find the movie i saw a long time ago that i did base it off of, it's called "a Christmas miracle" definitely check it out. i do hope that you enjoy my version and i am also so thankful you guys didn't hate me for having camille be nice for a change. i just wanted something refreshing and i know many won't like it as well but hey I'm just glad that you the readers have. here is the last chapter and i hope you enjoy the surprise. 
> 
> also small warning: **this chapter will have a small bit of casual/sensual smut, but not so much, but if you don't read that kind of stuff please skip to the one year later parter, i promise it'll be worth it.**

When Alec promised he'd make dinner, he really did promise as well as go all out for them. It looked like Magnus had prepared for this moment regardless as to if he was coming back or not. Alec was giggling a little bit to himself as he cooked, even reciting some of the lines from the movie they were watching. Every so often he would catch Magnus peaking at him while he worked. He couldn't help but start giggling more and tried to look like he wasn't looking back at him. It wasn't until Alec stuck his tongue out at him that Magnus went and ran over to him and tackled him against the counter a bit to ravish him. "Don't be teasing me like that," Magnus whispered against his ear just before running back to take a seat to finish the movie. 

Alec made a face at him and shook his head in disbelief even if he was completely on board with that because with Magnus he just felt like he could do anything. "Dinner is almost ready," He promised with 10 minutes left.

"It certainly smells really good," Olivia smiled as she urged Alec to come and watch the best part of the movie. "

He hurried up to watch the ending scene where everything turns out to be okay, and they all start singing. It still got him very emotional as he tried not to shed any tears but it didn't work out that way when he noticed everyone else crying, even the twins. Madzie ran up to Alec and attached herself to his leg, "I understand it now, I understand where he went. It was just like you and you came back! You came back to the life you wanted to live." 

Alec whimpered slightly trying not to cry from her understanding the movie and relating it to him because it was actually true, he couldn't believe he was living almost like his favorite movie and how his fate landed him right back where he belonged. As soon as he lifted her up, her twin sister came running to be picked up too, "I'm so happy you picked us too. I am also starving!" 

"Well, it's almost noon, but Christmas dinner is officially ready it looks like," Olivia spoke out loud showing off her table making skills and taking things out of the oven for Alec when the twins were distracting him. 

They all turned around together to see what she had done for him and Alec just started laughing and smiling really big. "Looks like we have Olivia following in your footsteps with the fancy napkins and place settings and she did it all in record time." Magnus teased taking Alec's hand in his as they moved to the table to take a seat down in their seats. 

"I made chicken cutlet stuffed primavera with mashed potatoes and vegetables, lots and lots of vegetables because I know how much you girls love it." He gave them a little teasing wink. 

"I'll eat it if you eat it." Madelynn said to her sister as Magnus carefully put it on his daughter's plates.

"Okay, but Alexander and Dad have to too." Madzie looked to them, "You too Olivia." She glared.

"Let's do it, on the count of three..." Alec suggested for them. "...one, two, three!" He popped the broccoli that he cooked into his mouth and everyone followed. 

"I like it!" Madelynn said with a mouth full of broccoli.

"It's okay," Madzie added with a slight face and half-shrug.

"It's actually phenomenal." Magnus answered as he swallowed, "I don't know what you did to make it taste so good and so so fresh? But it's fantastic." 

Alec chuckled a little giving a small shrug, "I actually sauteed it with some butter and hint of garlic, the trick is not to add so much garlic."

"I like it," Madzie changed her mind and started to eat more of it as she reached for a dinner roll right afterward.

"Don't fill up on the bread, Maz, remember to eat what's on your plate first." Magnus reminded his daughter.

"But if I fill up on my meal I won't be able to enjoy my bread." Madzie clearly had a point and everyone started to laugh.

Alec shook his head at her and just in general at how freakin' cute she was and the fact that he literally never met such a loving family and it was as if he fit right in. "She does have a point there, Magnus. I think you should let her have some bread." Alec joked of course, he in no way wanted to overstep in anything.

"Alright, but you have to take a few bites of the chicken that Alexander prepared for us." Magnus winked to Alec and just started to laugh himself as his daughter obeyed him and Madelynn was following exactly what her sister did. Olivia on the other hand was eating away at her chicken enjoying every single thing about it. Alec felt really accomplished now even more so that everyone enjoyed what he made and not only enjoyed it but when in for seconds and still had room for the freshly made bread too. It was the perfect way to spend their Christmas dinner even if Alec kept laughing that it was only lunchtime, at least they would be full until dinner time where he could serve them some of the famous pie that he made on YouTube every year for people to enjoy. 

It wasn't long before everyone retreated back to the living room to start on the Christmas carols, mostly just Olivia leading them in a few songs as they tried to sing along and sound at least as half as decent as she did. "I'm beginning to think you're showing off," Alec joked as she finished singing O'Holy Night as if she was a professional, "...but I mean that is like the most amazing way because you need to get yourself out there girrrrrrrl," Alec encouraged her.

Olivia blushed modestly, "You know I almost did, I asked dad to drive me to auditions and stuff and he was even doing it right up until mom died, I just I guess I stopped." 

Alec frowned a little, "It seems like a lot of things stopped after that," He frowned again, "But, I came here to help right? At first, I didn't even know I was helping but now I want to keep doing that for you girls, and I want to love your father more than anything in this world the best that I can and show you that even though your mother was clearly the best mother in the whole world, I can try and live up to her footsteps." Alec promised.

"Believe me you are already helping, I still can't believe I got up there and sang when I didn't have my mom around to encourage me, I still am so grateful for you and I will continue my music career - you don't have to worry," Olivia promised right back. "That is if dad will start taking me to auditions and things and some piano lessons." She looked at him with her cheesy grin that Magnus could never resist as it reminded him so much of Camille.

"Done." Magnus promised with a nod, "I really want you to as well, I'm so proud of you. And I do have Alexander to thank for it as well..." He winked to his soulmate and took his hand in his to hold. That's all he needed in the moment. When he held just his hand he felt that strong connection knowing very well that he was destined to be here with him and his girls.

The time certainly started to pass quickly with Christmas carols and the Bane's showing off their trivia skills with a few games. Alec beating them only once but still loved how competitive they got and how easily it was to tease them when they got a question wrong, and after that everyone was running to the table for Alec's pie...

"Now when I tell you how I only make this once a year, you can't ask for it until Christmas after you take a piece? Understand?" Alec said with 100% seriousness in his voice.

"What, why?" Magnus raised a brow.

"It's pretty famous and I only make it once a year, but it's also really really good so I get a really high demand for the recipe every single year..." Alec explained. "I also have a secret ingredient from my mother." He put a finger to his lips.

"What if I ask for it on my birthday?" Olivia raised a brow just like her father.

"Maaaaybe, I can make an exception," Alec answered with a bit of laughter when he realized the twins were already pigging out on their pieces that were almost half the pie because they didn't know how to exactly take just a piece.

Magnus couldn't even yell at them, he was just laughing too hard at how perfect Alec really was, "So you're telling me you make the best damn pie in the world too? Now that I am your soulmate though, you'll have to share the recipe with me..."

"There is no such thing that says that though," Alec smirked at him offering for him to take a bite holding the fork for him. 

Magnus went to say something but instead took the mouthful of pie. "Oh dear goodness you are right," He licked his lips and moved himself to press a kiss to his, "I love you," He whispered against them and reached over him to take a piece for himself. He smirked at him before taking another forkful.

"Oh it's like that," Alec smirked at started to tickle his sides. 

Magnus squirmed but ran around the table with a quick escape. Alec chased after him and felt like he was a teenager again completely and utterly in love with Magnus. And then it turned into one big love pile as everyone pounced on Alec for trying to tickle Magnus so Alec went and started to tickle them all until they called mercy. It was a perfect way to end the night though as the twins ended up falling asleep watching Elf as the last Christmas movie of the night. With a small yawn herself, Olivia thanked Alec again for everything and took her sisters to bed. Alec smiled brightly and thanked her again for welcoming him into her life and wanting him to be with her father as well. 

When the coast was clear, Magnus sat directly onto Alec's lap and started to kiss him fiercely - almost as if he was being drawn to him with a burning fire inside of him that he needed Alec to ignite and keep burning through their kiss. Their liplock heavy now and Magnus slowly grinding against him to hint for him to lift them up and take them to his bedroom. It was an easy task and Alec definitely got the hint lifting them both up off of the couch and heading to Magnus' bedroom. He gently laid himself and Magnus both down against the bed. They were still in matching pajamas so they didn't have to worry about moving or taking off each other's clothes. Alec could feel what Magnus needed. He needed it too but he was still very much not wanting to rush anything. Even if his body was still ignited from Magnus' kiss giving him all sorts of tingles throughout his body. 

"I still feel as if I'm dreaming, today all of it, everything, it was incredible. I love being here." Alec spoke watching over Magnus' features as they laid face to face.

"If you're dreaming then I'm dreaming. I still can't believe you're real." Magnus reached out to touch him, bring him in even closer as their noses touched. Alec giggled softly and pressed a kiss to his lips gently. "Mm, and you still taste like pie." 

Alec scrunched his nose and gave him a little cross-eyed look, "Don't try and woe me just to get my pie recipe out of me, you'll have to watch my YouTube channel first..." He reminded him with a slight wink. "I even have people try and guess the secret ingredient because I don't tell them that part, it's still yummy though so some might have figured out the secret ingredient," He added.

Magnus shrugged shaking his head, "I guess I'll have to watch it," He teased back reaching to play with the hair on Alec's forehead, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can, Magnus," Alec promised.

"Do you really plan to just stay here with us and never look back?" It was kind of a loaded question, but Magnus really truly wanted him to stay.

"Yeah, I mean, if you want me to. I know my business has been on hold, but while I was on the bus ride here I actually made decisions that I thought were good for me if we really decided to do this," Alec mentioned, now that he could and it seemed as if Magnus was already on board.

"I wouldn't mind if you left to go to work and things, I am just an on-call nurse as they call it, I go in when needed and sometimes I take extra shifts just because I love to save people well at least try to, but sometimes it gets overwhelming..." Magnus explained a little wanting Alec to know that too, "I also miss my girls like crazy when I'm at work so now I know I'll have you here when I'm not?" Magnus planned things like that too and when he had found Alec sitting on the floor with his girls a few days ago when he came home from work was exactly what he could get used to.

"I would love nothing more, and I think I have an idea that I've been meaning to try and attempt to do..." Alec told Magnus with a soft look in his eyes, a smile brushing across his features...what if I did some vlogging about our life together, I could post random videos with the girls, do some DIYs, show off cute things about our relationship that starts to bloom...actual proof that soulmates do exist?" He asked very curiously in hopes Magnus was okay with the idea if anything he still thought of it as overstepping. 

"I do like that idea, but I also worry that people might be skeptical of us...you know? How do you prove we're soulmates?" Magnus made a small face and scrunched his nose. "Not that I don't believe that we are but if we want to prove it to the world how do we do it..."

"We just have to be ourselves, did you know I actually talked about you in one of my vlogs when you and I met without really meeting? I will have to refer to it and with that simple look that you had given me...I was smitten but turns out a couple of years later here I am with you..." Alec blushed a little.

"I like the idea, it sounds amazing...could we start it off with you coming with me to fully adopt my girls so you can have custody of them too?" Magnus asked curiously too, unsure if Alec really wanted that but he was also pretty sure it was obvious with how much he loved them.

"Oh Magnus," Alec swooned practically dying right then and there of pure happiness. He wanted nothing more. He needed nothing more. He fell not just in love with Magnus but his 3 girls as well. "I would be more than happy to, that would definitely get a lot of views too, it'll be such a nice story to talk about," Alec mentioned. "But for me, it's never about the views - it's just about the messages that I get and the people I make happy but knowing that many people watch and that many people subscribe to me is always an amazing blessing. 

"I just think it's all about the journey and I love that people can follow other people's journey and feel their love and I want to inspire people too. You've made me feel that way because I've never been a fan of this kind of thing but here and now listening to what you have to say...I just feel as inspired as ever." Magnus told Alec before pressing a few kisses to his face and bringing his leg to wrap around him, "I very much am in love with you, Alexander." He brushed his nose up against his and deepened the kiss even harder The kiss was laced with a longing deep passion causing Alec to whimper and growl into his mouth. There was a soft beg for him to keep going and not stop when he felt Magnus' hand move slowly into his pants. "I promise," Magnus whispered stroking him softly, needing to feel him in his palm. "I won't stop," He added in a low growl continuing to stroke him effortlessly. Alec moved in his hand slowly for more contact and because he wanted to reach for his growing length too. Magnus shivering with his touch even if his hand was so warm wrapping around him like that. Alec so new to this truly discovering Magnus' cock as his fingers began to gently stroke him just like he was doing to him, "That's it, Alexander, it's okay, just like I am, I don't want you to stop either," Magnus told him against his lips as he felt Alec's thumb came across the precum and give him more friction and coaxing him which sent him soaring...

Magnus' soft tan glow diminishing and the hazel threads increasing in intensity. Their bodies seemed to mold into one singular entity as the fervor of their sex intensified. Almost as if his thoughts were his thoughts or vice versa. Alec got up almost wildly from between his legs and inhaled and exhaled loudly, his hand went to his cock and he tugged. He felt the border of his body being unwavering but at the same time giving away, eroding. Magnus got up as well and looked deep into his soulmate's eyes. Hazel eyes that seemed almost unearthly pierced Alec’s yet he recognized the need behind them. He turned around again and placed his Magnus' hands on the wall above the headboard to straddle him, as Alec felt the sticky-watery sensation as it slimed its way down and the pressing of a hard member invaded the deep recesses of his crevice. Magnus pushed hard and entered his ass with ease and slowed his way in. Alec winced as soon as he broke his way in as he fell forward pressing his chest to his.

“God damn!” Alec whimpered biting his bottom lip gently, he forced himself to push with his thrusts. He felt his own body give way to the intrusion with a light glow deep within his being – like a fire with shallow breaths pushing back, his thrusts enticed him. And up against the headboard, he saw the shimmering of his fire, Magnus' groans and moans, rhythmically intoned with his thrusts got louder, and his hands held his soulmate’s hips hard against his. Alec's own flame was intensifying with each grind Magnus made inside of him, he licked his lips as he got closer to his own climax. Magnus' flame broke out and engulfed Alec's and they were again one entity. The heat burned Alec deep even though his body was gone. He felt his thoughts of pleasure up against his mind and felt his kiss. 

When he then opened his eyes and the darkness became unbearable, Alec groaned as he felt him come inside of him. Magnus' cock drove deep inside and left what he had to offer, collapsing on top of him as they both fell flat against the bed. They both knew that they were destined to be together for always and forever...

\-------ONE YEAR LATER, CHRISTMAS EVE!--------

Alec's vlog turned very successful with Magnus and his three girls joining him - it became The Bane's Daily Chronicles, and even Olivia got to show off her singing. It had a little over 4 million subscribers and they were just about to hit 5 million and they knew they could do it with today's pie recipe. Olivia and Alec were setting up and getting ready together while Magnus was out getting some last-minute things. He promised to be back in time but if he wasn't he said to start without him and he'd make his grand late entrance as he did on some of them. Their fans seemed to love it and loved his excuses too, Alec always rest-assured it was okay and gave him a kiss.

Madzie and Madelynn were enjoying some french fries and coloring to keep them preoccupied while they went live. Without saying anything Olivia started to record them actually and went live secretly while Alec went over to them, she always liked to show off their cuteness which indeed was another success.

"Hey, dadda, you gotta try this!" Madzie said with confidence showing off her dipping her french fry into ketchup.

"Oh is it good?" Alec pretended like he never did it before. "Should I try it?!"

"Yes, you have to." She insisted proudly.

Alec pretended to be nervous and make a face at her, "Alright if you say so." He put into his mouth and pretended again to chew to see if he liked it. He did of course but Madzie didn't know that, "Oh my! You must be on to something, did you come up with this all by yourself?" 

"I did!" Madzie giggled. "I even showed Made and she loves it too. Daddy too. Olivia not so much but I knew you'd like it." She giggled even more.

"Gasp! Olivia, you don't like it?" Alec looked up at her when he realized she was filming, "Olivia! Are we live already?"

Olivia was snickering behind the camera, "Yes, we are, and I do not like katcup on anything by the way guys just simply gross." She turned the camera on herself and made a fake gagging nose and then shrugged at everyone. "Come on, Da. Dad should be home any minute, we gotta get this amazing pie recipe started over a 100k are watching us right now." 

"That's amazing, okay, let's do this! Alec stepped behind the counter with all of his ingredients for an Apple Crumble Pie. "Hello everyone, although we are already live and you already know our names, it's me Alec Lightwood for those who just might be new, this is my daughter Olivia and the two girls over their coloring are Magnus and my twin girls, Madelynn and Madzie, our story and our journey are in the previous vlogs if you'd like to watch those, but tonight it's all about pie! An Apple Crumb Pie that tastes delicious and I promise yours can taste just as delicious with that secret ingredient." Alec winked at the camera. 

"You still never told us the secret ingredient, how do they even know?" Olivia pointed to the camera she set up.

"Because it's obvious once we start making it what the ingredient is." Alec reminded her as he started to prepare everything and showcase exactly what he was doing.

"I'm hooooome." Magnus came in dropping his things realizing he was late for the vlog but it was okay, he was late on purpose this time and he figured out the secret ingredient too. Olivia didn't know he figured it out yet but she was about to, but she did know why he was late on purpose.

"You're just in time, we have everything mixed and the apples are being layered onto the crust right now." Alec mentioned as he was eyeing Magnus but also the camera as he showed off how he layered the apples. Magnus moved in front of the camera right next to Alec and gave him the biggest smile he ever gave him. "Aren't you the happiest person in the world?" Alec grinned right back and placed a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I am indeed the happiest person in the world and I hope I am about to make you the happiest person in the world," Magnus mentioned with a little bit a smirk now. "I did a tiny bit of research wondering what your secret ingredient is, and then it dawned on me after all these years just in time right?" He told him and the audience, "The secret ingredient is _l o v e_." He then turned to Alec with another little grin.

"How did you figure it out?" Alec pretended to be shocked and did a little gasp. It wasn't like it was a huge secret because many figured it out in the comments and Alec always hinted that you have to fill it with love in order to taste good.

"I'm just that good," Magnus snickered a little bit, "I also know how to fill this one with love," He added in a soft voice just above a whisper. He took Alec's hands and brought him from around the counter so they could be seen. Alec followed very curiously as Olivia made a slight squeaking noise knowing what was coming as she watched her father get down on one knee, "Alexander Gideon Lightwood, it's been one whole year since you basically came into our lives, you showed me what it was to love again, you showed me all over again what love is, and the best part of it all is you also accept me and my family as is, you never tried to change us, you just helped us with what became dormant from being scared. And the best part about is that you came without even knowing why or how and yet you somehow fixed it and within just 3 days we knew because the angels told us that we are soulmates...you made me believe in everything, all of it. I love every single detail about you, every single smile, every single crevice of your body, and the way your hand fits in mine. I love when you talk about making other people happy and always putting others before yourself but I also love how for once you finally also love yourself and the person you are with me...I want to spend my life with you...will you marry me?"

Alec's breath hitched, he figured from Olivia's squeak she knew this was going to happen, and then Magnus getting on bended knee to give that speech just rendered him absolutely speechless. Of course, it was a yes but he was in instant tears because of the sap that he was, and the fact that literally everyone watching was witnessing this just made him cry even more. "I think the happiest I ever was when you let me kiss you when I showed up at your doorstep telling you that I think we're soulmates and you agreed, now you come here on our live vlog and ask me to marry you and all I can think about is how this moment is my happiest because of everything you said and I agree to all of it, you've put our moments into words...yes, Magnus Bane, yes I will marry you." Alec pulled him up as accepted the beautiful ring onto his finger and kissed him just like he did the first time cupping his cheeks and whimpering into his mouth to deepen it for a moment. 

Magnus slowly pulled back and looked sheepishly into the camera, "Remember to always live for the moments you can put into words, this is Magnus, Alec, Olivia, and our twins signing off, we will put the pie recipe up shortly." The family all moved in front of the camera to give great big hug. "I love my family so much and I hope everyone has an amazing Christmas Eve and Christmas Day."

Olivia ran to shut off the camera and put her hands on her hips. "So the secret ingredient is _l o v e_?" 

Alec and Magnus nodded,

"I was putting it in all along and I never ever knew," She kept her hands on her hips and shook her head.

"That's why it's a secret," Alec smirked and turned to Magnus. "I can't believe you," He murmured so happily pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

"I just want to live for the moments I can put into words." Magnus smiled softly.

"I have a million and one words written down for us already." Alec nodded firmly.

"And together we have all the time in the world," Magnus answered.

"Forever," Alec answered bumping his forehead with his again to kiss him.

"Ugh you guys get a room, I'm going to go and do a vlog gushing about how damn cute my parents are," Olivia took the camera, "By the way, I was recording that!!!!"

Magnus and Alec looked to each other and shrugged, it didn't matter if anyone saw their overloaded sap and cuteness. Everyone just understood it because they certainly wanted to live for the moments they could put it in words too. 

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anddddddddddd that's all folks. once again thanks so much for joining me with this fic, I truly hope I've made yall smile and you enjoyed the surprise ending ;) I hope everyone has an amazing week and hope you'll join me if my brain has any more ideas. once again if you ever wanna share with me your favorite parts on twitter please @ me @westallenkiss #LFMfic <3

**Author's Note:**

> ...and so it begins, i do hope i have your interest as i begin to write this lovely chaptered fic. i know most of you guys don't interact with me on twitter much but if you do and want to share your thoughts with me please @ at @westallenkiss with the hashtag #LFMfic!


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